


fleet-footed and foolish

by postfixrevolution



Series: i would that my love is an ocean [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Adopted Sibling Incest, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Masturbation, Leo-centric - Freeform, POV Third Person Limited, Pre-game timeline, Pseudo-Incest, Slow Build, Unresolved Sexual Tension, elise is perfect and i will fight any nonbelievers, except all the sexual stuff is so vaguely implied and easy to miss tbh, published pre-game, so yeah it's in his pov, they're probably pretty OOC oops, wet dreams, yes there are greek mythology allusions fiGHT ME
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-04-19 11:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4745030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postfixrevolution/pseuds/postfixrevolution
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three golden apples tossed perilously to the side, and she chases after each one.</p><p> </p><p>alternatively: Leo has a big sister complex and it is <i>bad</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the setting sun (and your silhouette against it)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, I actually haven't spoiled any major points in the game for myself yet. I peeked at the wiki pages a bit, I guess. Read like, a few of the least spoiler-y fanfics I could find. 
> 
> So, everyone is probably, if not definitely, pretty out of character. Sorry? **On the plus side, you can read this without worrying about major spoilers.**
> 
> Oh, and here's a disclaimer because I don't own FE:if. Unbeta-ed, so forgive any lurking mistakes.

It starts when he catches her staring. 

Kamui is a fascinating being to observe, demure and poised as any princess should be, yet as strong willed and overtly altruistic as the best of knights. She is a whirlwind in her own right, capricious and overwhelming, but one thing she never did was stare. 

Leo has always stared. It's a long-standing habit, fueled by a voracious thirst for knowledge that started in childhood and only grew with age. He would stare at people, at his surroundings, at his tomes; he likes to think he knows everyone and everything better than anyone else, so he finds his interest piqued when his amethyst eyes catch the faraway gaze of crimson ones on him, and Kamui starts, quickly turning away. 

He watches her as she quickly becomes involved in Elise's shenanigans, smiling pleasantly and kneeling beside the girl as the young blonde displays a handful of dirt with a small flower planted in its center. 

"It's an _a-do-nin-i-sis_ ," the little girl says, completely butchering the pronunciation. "Big Sister Camilla said it was named after the most beautiful man in the world after he died," she explains matter of factly. Leo chuckles to himself, quietly walking over to his sisters. He isn't surprised that Camilla would only tell Elise the more pleasant part of the story, as well as only the better qualities of its hero. 

"It's actually pronounced _adonis_ , dear Sister," he corrects. "You added too many syllables." Elise looks up at him, and Kamui twists her head back so she can see him. "And the flower is named after him because, while he was indeed very handsome, he was careless in getting himself killed by a boar during a hunt. Where his blood fell, so did these red flowers bloom." Elise gasps at the mention of the hero's death. 

"Ahh, but that's so tragic!" she laments, gently depositing the flower into the soil before her and tenderly stroking its vibrant red petals. "What kind of flowers grow from _blood_? They're so pretty, but that just makes them sound absolutely evil!" 

Kamui chuckles quietly as she turns back to the girl, gently easing her hands away from the flower's delicate petals to press more soil against its roots. 

"They didn't name the flower after him simply because it grew over his blood," she says smoothly, turning back to flash Leo a chastising look. He sniffs at her, biting back a small smile as she rolls her eyes at his mock-affront. She turns back to Elise, brushing dirt off her cheeks with a pale knuckle. "The flower is called adonis because a kind and beautiful goddess loved the man, so she cradled him tenderly as he died, transforming his blood into flowers as a sign of her love." 

"Kind?" Leo echoes with an amused scoff, "I would hardly call that particular goddess of love kind." Kamui flashes him another look, narrowed eyes and pursed lips, and he merely shrugs in response. 

"Goddess of love?" Elise repeats, tilting her head curiously to the side. Her older sister waves away the comment dismissively, smiling warmly and telling her to run off and wash her hands. 

"Sister said she would be in her third greenhouse tending to her roses," she tells their youngest sister, "and I know you said you wanted someone with you when you went to pick gooseberries for tonight's dessert. Why don't you go before she finishes, Little Sister? I'll even clean up for you here." 

Elise jumps to her feet, not even bothering to brush the soil off her skirt as she gasps. "You're right!" she notes, eyes wide. "Effie said she'd help me bake a pie if I got some good ones. Thanks for reminding me, Big Sis!" She grabs the wicker basket on the ground beside her, swinging it in a wide arc before skipping off. "Bye, Big Brother, Big Sister," she singsongs, waving at them briefly. "I'll see you guys at dinner!" she adds before she disappears around the corner. Leo gives her a quick wave of the hand before she does. After she's done, Kamui rolls back onto her heels, standing up slowly and stretching her arms to the sky. Leo follows gentle curve of her back, the cascade of her hair as she rolls her neck. 

"You know, Elise is still young," she points out, turning to face him with a fondly exasperated smile. "You could afford to let her have her fairy tales for a few years longer." 

Leo shrugs. "The flowers did spring up as his blood soaked the ground," he points out simply. "And the love goddess is known to be very vengeful, as many deities are wont to be." All he gets in response is a sigh and a fond roll of the eyes. Kamui kneels back down to pick up the shovels and spades Elise had left behind; Leo stands with his hands folded behind his back, watching her. 

"Oh, Sister, before I forget," he begins, and crimson eyes give him a sidelong look, "You were staring at me earlier. Was there something you required of me? Something on my face, maybe?" 

Kamui frowns. "Was I staring?" she mutters to herself, thin eyebrows creasing in confusion. 

"Yes, just earlier, before you knelt to help Sister with her planting," he presses. She chews at her bottom lip thoughtfully, gathering the gardening supplies in her lap and sitting carefully on the courtyard grass. He eyes the gentle tug of her teeth on her lips, clenching his jaw and tearing his gaze away. Leo stares at the horizon, watching dusk begin to sink in as the sun sets behind him. When the white-haired girl gasps, his gaze finds her once more. 

"Oh, yes; my apologies, Little Brother," she offers sheepishly, shooting him an apologetic smile. "As silly as it sounds, I was just thinking about how tall you were. I've watched you grow up, but sometimes it really hits me how much you've _really_ grown." She onces him over, and he can't help the shameful twist of his stomach as she does. "Against the sunset," she says softly, eyes adopting a nostalgic light, "you cut a figure like Xander never did." 

His heart stutters in his chest, and his brain instantly begins to overanalyze her words, picking them ruthlessly apart and trying to find some shred of hope for his desperate obsession in them. Leo swallows thickly, tries to shove away the dizzying chatter in his head. He squats beside her, follows her gaze to meet a brilliant orange sunset. "You're too kind, Sister," he manages eventually, cursing the minute tremble in his voice. Kamui doesn't mention it, and he wonders if her sharp ears had caught it, only to be interrupted by a soft chuckle. 

"Yes, perhaps I _am_ being a bit sentimental," she laughs, any previous melancholy gone from her eyes. In one swift motion, she stands up, inhaling deeply through her nose. Offering him a hand and a smile, she tells him, "It's amazing and terrifying how things change with age, isn't it?" 

He doesn't answer immediately, but takes her hand. Even through his thick gloves, he can feel the heat of her palm pressed against his. She tugs him up firmly, pulling his body within inches of hers, and they stay that way for a timeless moment. He traces the delicate ring of onyx that circles her crimson irises, losing himself in delicate lift of her long eyelashes. There is a small voice that urges him to lean forward and erase the minute indents where her incisors had pressed against her lips with his own, and Leo can't help the way he licks his lips and eyes her own. The scent of ancient magic that surrounds her, older even than the oldest tomes in their library, casts a spell on him. 

And then, without warning, Kamui swiftly steps back and the spell breaks. She turns her back to him, crossing her arms and looking at the quickly sinking sun. Leo steps over to her side, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. Her cheeks are tinted with sunset, and he wonders just how much of that roseate is from the fading light of the sun. 


	2. it melts away past your cupped hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You mean more of the world to me than the earth ever did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta-ed, so forgive any little mistajes, and enjoy~

She is in the library the next time they cross paths alone, poring over a volume of ancient Nohrian myths. Completely engrossed in the book, she doesn't seem to notice as he leans against the bookshelf before her table, watching her as she reads. Leo thinks back on her words the other day, mentally musing over how true they were. 

Leo has watched Kamui grow up just as much as she had him, and no amount of change is lost on the prince. From the adventurous little girl that had dragged him out of the library and around the castle grounds as a child, to the warrior princess who could enamor politicians with her charm just as skillfully as she cut down foes with her sword, Kamui has grown up gracefully. 

What was once a young prince's unending curiosity has turned into this: Leo watches her spar and wants to measure the taught curve of her abdomen with his fingers; he sees her smile and dies to memorize the dips and plateaus of her teeth under his tongue. He can't place when her beautiful intrigue had turned into an intriguing beauty, but he can't remember when his childhood habit of staring had turned into the near-obsession it is now, either. She ruins him, and a painstakingly crafted mask and ghosting hands in the dark are the only things that keep him from crumbling. 

"Care to join me, Brother, or are you intent on just standing there, looking solemn?" Kamui quips, not even looking up from her text. Leo flinches, jarred from his thoughts when she chuckles softly, an amused smile pulling up at her lips as she flips another page in her book. Slowly, Leo makes his way over, pulling up a seat beside her. Kamui scoots her chair closer, sliding the book between them so that he can read alongside her; the only thing Leo registers is the brush of her arm against his, the proximity of their shoulders, sides, legs. Inhaling a measured breath through his nose, he stares intently at the page until his mind stops spinning enough to register the words and images emblazoned across it. 

"Golden apples?" he queries, blinking at the meticulously detailed drawings. 

A mischievous smile stretches across her face as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small apple, smooth and red. He had seen her pocket something during lunch, but he had no idea it was that. 

"They're beautiful, and they have so much meaning and presence throughout a lot of these stories," she tells him, absently running her fingers along the smooth skin of the fruit. Leo's eyes fall closed for a second, imagining a feather light touch on his own skin; when she speaks again, his eyes fly open and he bites down on his tongue while he listens to her. "A divine fight between jealous gods, the promise of immortality, or a chance for an innocent youth to marry the unattainable woman he's in love with," she sighs dreamily, eyes falling shut to undoubtedly imagine such tales. 

The sunlight from a nearby window both silhouettes her and sets her winter-white hair aflame. Leo can't take his eyes off of her; he wants to kiss her. It's not a new urge by any means, but the attainability of it now — alone in the library with her eyes closed and lips set in a soft smile — is enough to make his heart rate spike. Leo curls a hand around her wrist and she immediately stiffens. Her eyes fly open in shock and Leo feels his chest ache painfully. It was a stupid thought, he chastises, reminding himself that his self-control is one of the things he prides himself most in. It shouldn't be so fragile that it shatters at the merest notion of half-lidded crimson eyes and and lips so close he can feel each hot breath fan across his face. Leo mechanically releases her wrist, instead moving to pluck the apple out of his sister's hand. 

"Brother?" Kamui asks quietly, and he quickly waves her off, stomach churning at the mention of their familial relation. He breathes deeply, eyes falling shut as the long-memorized words of an old glamour charm tumble out along his heavy exhalation. The familiar, warm trickle of magic flows from his fingers and to the fruit in his hands, and he hears Kamui gasp. 

Leo glances at her from the corner of his eye, smirks at the awestruck look on her face as she gazes at the now golden apple in his hands. 

"Perhaps I ought to inscribe, 'To the fairest' on this and leave it on the table during supper," he quips, and she laughs loudly at that. 

"I think we'd both know Camilla would claim it, and no one would dare try to say otherwise," she snorts. Leo nods in agreement. 

"Then we'll call it a chance at immortality, perhaps?" he continues. "Tell me, Sister, would you like to live forever?" 

Kamui's smile adopts a hint of melancholy. "No," she tells him simply, so immediate and forthright that Leo wonders if he'd actually heard her at all. 

"No?" 

"No. Not if it meant leaving behind the people I love," she explains, meeting his gaze warmly. "You mean more of the world to me than the earth ever did." Leo curses the way his heart skips a beat at that, knowing she meant everyone collectively, not just him specifically. He forces his gaze away from hers, staring at the golden apple in his hands as he turns it and observes his spellwork. 

"How about I throw it, then?" he mutters contemplatively. "I'll throw it to the side in hopes that you'll give chase, so that I might stand a chance at my sister's unattainable, altruistic heart." 

Kamui coughs at that, a small fit following thereafter. Leo raises a quizzical eyebrow at her as she calms down, but the girl just adamantly shakes her head and flashes him reassuring smile. Her cheeks are a pale pink, he notes, but just as quickly ignores; that is a dangerous train of thought if he ever knew one, and Kamui has only been a loving sister as long as he had known her. He is thankfully torn from his thoughts as she snatches the apple from his palms and sets her crimson eyes on the metallic flesh. 

"What a jest, Little Brother," she laughs quietly. "You know that my heart belongs to both our family and our people. There should be no unattainability to it." Her words have a strange tightness to them and her eyes are trained on the golden apple as she turns it over in her palms. Leo is robbed the chance to respond as she speaks again, voice considerably lighter. "If I eat this, Brother, will it still taste the same? Or will my teeth shatter if I even try?" 

He clicks his tongue quietly at the question. "Turning any object into real gold is impossible, Sister. And because it's simply a glamour charm, it will fade away as soon as you bite it." 

She pouts. "That's no fun, is it? And I suppose it'd fade away once the thing starts rotting, too?" He nods, to which Kamui pouts more. Leo is about to suggest giving it to their eldest sister again when the white haired girl heaves a sigh, and then takes a large bite out of the fruit. He watches her as she is transfixed by the golden sheen slowly trickling off the fruit like water. Her pale hands cup the apple like she expects to catch the colour as it leaves, and when the gold has been rightfully replaced by its former red, she turns the fruit in her hands reverently. 

Kamui takes another bite of the apple, chewing it slowly. "I think it tasted better golden," she announces eventually, and Leo scoffs softly in amusement. 

"Oh?" he asks, arching a thin eyebrow at her. She nods once resolutely, offering the fruit out to him. The blond reaches his hand out to take it, but ends up diverting it at the last second; instead, he presses his fingers around her wrist, tugging her outstretched hand toward his mouth and taking a slow bite of the fruit. His eyes don't leave hers as he does so, and Kamui sits stock-still and wide eyed the entire time. He chews the apple thoughtfully, absently thumbing away a trail of juice as it runs down her wrist. After he swallows, he can't help his sly smile at her expression. 

"I think it tastes just fine, Sister," he tells her innocently. Kamui coughs loudly to clear her throat, shoving the apple into his hands and adamantly insisting that he can have it. She turns bodily back to her book immediately after, pointedly staring holes into the page. Perhaps that was a bit too cruel a trick, Leo contemplates as he notes the tight set of her jaw and the minute frown on her pursed lips. But he remembers the buzz of her skin against his, smooth fingers trailing tantalizingly over a red flesh that could have been his. If what he had done to her was cruel, what she does to him is even more. 


	3. your fingertips still haunt me when it's dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He lingers before Kamui's door, considering knocking to see if she might happen to be awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, I forgot to mention earlier to my wonderful anonymous commenter that your review gAVE ME LIFE AND WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH I STILL SQUEAL AND SCREAM EVERY TIME I READ THAT <33 YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON
> 
> also this is a filler chapter whoops; I guess it was bound to happen at least once sh r u gs

Leo finds himself bolting up from his bed in the middle of the night, panting. His sheets are soaked in sweat and desperation, and he shivers at both the chill and the phantom feeling of teeth against the skin of his collarbone. 

"Damn," he curses, throwing the ruined fabrics off of himself. He kicks them off his bed in frustration, stalking across his room and to his private bathroom. As quietly as possible, the blond draws a cold bath, peeling away his clothes as he waits for the tub to fill. 

Zero, whose quarters share a wall with Leo's bathroom, is no doubt awake by now, disturbed by the quiet noise of running water. The once-thief has an abnormally sharp ear, which Leo both appreciates and curses at times. It makes for a good guard, but the clever man has no doubt deduced why Leo has been prone to midnight baths. At least Zero knows the value of silence. Less could be said of the prince's other guard. Fortunately, Odin's quarter's are opposite the hall from Leo's, so the prince has no worries of the dark mage being woken up by his actions. Once the tub is adequately filled, he shuts the tap off, plunging himself into the cold water with a pained hiss. He shudders again, this time purely from the cold. 

He makes quick work of cleaning himself up, eager to step out of the chilling water. _This needs to stop_ , he mentally groans, aggressively scrubbing the slick and sweat off his skin. As soon as he finishes, Leo jumps out of the tub and forces back shivers as he towels himself dry and pulls on a fresh pair of pajamas. He's going to have to strip his sheets off the bed and sneak them into the laundry room again. Leo has become more well acquainted with the layout of the room and the process of changing bedsheets than he'd ever wanted to be, but he'd rather suffer through a servant's job than explain to said servants exactly why his sheets needed changing so often; the excuse of practicing magic on his bed and accidentally burning a hole straight through the center of the sheets is beginning to grow old, and Felicia has threatened to hide all of his tomes and set Odin to check every corner of the room before he retires to sleep each night. Unfortunately, the prince knows that the woman isn't kidding in either of those. 

Once Leo has his ruined sheets bundled up as small as possible, the prince grabs a small lantern from his desk and begins the long trek to the washroom. Outside his door, the wide, glass windows let wan moonlight filter in and spill faint shadows across the stone floor. It's surely well past midnight. Despite his best efforts to remain silent, he can still hear the minute tap of his soles against the floor. It's nowhere near loud enough to wake anyone that is sleeping, but the noise is too deafening for his tastes. The rhythmic sounds remind him too much of the uncontrollable pounding in his chest, the one that threatens to burst from his ribcage each time crimson eyes linger too long on his. 

A few doors down from his own quarters, Kamui's door sits at the end of the hallway, faced by Jakob's across the hall. Despite his internal warning not to, Leo can't help approaching her door. The dark oaken wood door is nearly identical to his own, save for the lack of a thin, hairline crack along the center near the knob. 

He remembers bolting his young self into his room after an embarrassing stint involving horses and a race around the fields. Or rather, it would have been a race had Leo's steed not poised itself to sprint, only to immediately turn around and begin trotting nonchalantly the opposite way at the start call. Kamui and her guard Silas had to double back, nearly falling off their saddles in laughter as they helped Leo slow and dismount his adamantly trotting horse. The steed had taken to the blue haired boy immediately, to Kamui's endless amusement, Silas's irritating modesty and Leo's frustrated affront. The crack in his door is the result of the white haired girl threatening and attempting to break down his door after he shut himself away following the embarrassing episode. She had a bruised shoulder for a week after that, and Leo hadn't let her carry anything or be out of his sights the entire time. 

Back in the present, the situation is almost exactly reversed; the prince hasn't seen Kamui all day, much less refused to let her carry anything or attempt to break down her door — even if he had considered pounding on the door earlier that afternoon. For some reason, the princess has made herself scarce all day, not leaving her room once. No one had commented on her absence, but Xander had shifted uncomfortably in his seat when Jakob had told them the princess was feeling unwell and insisted her family carry on without her today. His dark grey eyes never left Xander's, as if he, the princess, and the eldest prince knew something that no one else did. After the butler had left, Leo watched his brother stifle an inherent discomfort for the rest of breakfast. 

The young blond definitely knows something is wrong, but he can't place what is amiss, a fact that frustrates him greatly. He lingers before Kamui's door, considering knocking to see if she might happen to be awake and ready to explain herself for earlier, seeing as she was perfectly healthy the day before. But Leo remembers the sheets under his arm and the reason he had left his chambers in the first place right as his fingers hover above the dark oak, and he pulls his fingers back with a scowl. Turning swiftly on one heel, Leo stalks down the hall, refusing to ponder where the thudding in his chest ends and where the echoing thuds of his footsteps begin. He makes it down to the laundry room in record time, and shoves his blankets under the large pile of sheets that would be thrown into the wash the next morning. Knowing that he won't be able to find sleep again for the rest of the night, the blond dusts himself off and heads toward the library. 

Leo takes his time walking to the library, watching the way his shadow moves in the lantern light as he forces his steps to be as quiet as possible. The pounding in his chest has long since been reduced to a comfortable and unnoticeable quiet, and Leo savors the calm, even going so far as to slowly push the library doors open so the hinges don't have the chance to groan and creak in effort. He pushes the door closed behind him with the softest _click_ , and turns to face the cavernous room before him. The scent of parchment and ink is familiar and comforting, and a sense of calm easily washes over him. 

At such an unholy hour, normally he would be the only on here, but the telltale glow of another light source spills over from behind a shelf; someone is sitting on the table just around the corner. Leo stiffens, feels his mind begin to race as an anxious adrenaline begins to replace the previous calm in his veins. Carefully, he hangs his lantern by the door, and noiselessly prowls over to the illuminated bookcase. He peeks amethyst eyes around the corner, and what he sees before him makes his heart stop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> laughs loudly because cliffhangers
> 
> Leave your thoughts or comments and I'll post the next chapter sooner. Maybe.
> 
> (whispers into the void come read my [kamui/takumi fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4659396) if you like dumb pseudo incest and stupid younger brothers and badly written sexual tension + maybe romance)


	4. you make me fall off the walls i build around me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her shaky smile is unbearably beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't actually think saying I'd update faster if I got comments would actually get me comments, but, hey! I'm not complaining, haha. You guys all rock (I jumped with elation every time I read each comment, heh) and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Kamui sits in her nightgown with a yellowed tome before her, staring listlessly at an apple in her hands. Her winter-white hair is pulled back into a haphazard ponytail, painted in golds and oranges from the candles around her, and Leo's fingers twitch at the thought of brushing through her hair to repair its messy style. Her eyes — as much as Leo wishes are just a product of the candlelight — are puffy and raw, heavy with dark circles underneath. She blinks often, long eyelashes fluttering and a clingy wetness in her crimson eyes. The girl looks more spectre than anything, a maudlin ghost who doesn't belong, yet still exists persistently there. He wants to touch her, to trace every rise and fall of her knuckles, to smooth away the dark circles under her eyes, but the prince can't shake the stomach twisting feeling that she might disappear if he did. 

Cautiously, he steps out from the shadows, allowing the quiet tap of his feet against the floor. Kamui's gaze flies up from the small, red fruit in her hands and land on Leo with the grace of a startled deer. Leo pretends not to see the way her hands shake, the way her her eyes tremble, and swallows down the heartbeat in his throat. Whatever part of him that whispers about lips against his neck and fingers against his bare hips is pushed away by the panic that fills crimson eyes and hitches shaky breaths. 

"Sister," Leo begins, and that is all he has time to say before tears start brimming from her eyes; he finds himself kneeling before her before he can think, turning her chair to face him so he can hold her head in his hands and thumb away the tears that refuse to stop. If her tears are warm against his fingers, then her skin is fire, burning and searing him like the moth to her flame he is. With one hand, he eases the apple out of her trembling grip, leaving it on the table beside them. He keeps both her hands in one of his, unable to stop himself from mapping the thin bones that stretch out beneath the skin on the back of her hand. 

Kamui cries indefinitely and like he has never seen before, letting Leo wipe away the tears as they fall. He aches to ask her what's wrong, aches even more to fix whatever problem might tumble from her lips, but his voice is stuck somewhere between the back of his throat and his fingers deftly swiping away tears as they cling to her cheeks. When his knee begins to hurt and his fingers have memorized the cartography of the back of her hands, her tears slow down, and her silent sobs have turned into weak sniffles. Leo pulls up a chair beside her, lets her wipe away residual tears herself as he watches the way shadows dance across her face. When she is done, he speaks up again. 

"Is something the matter, Sister?" he asks softly. 

She is quick, almost too quick, to snap back quietly, "Don't call me that." Her eyes are curtained by the bangs that fall over them, but he can still see the scowl set on her lips. He wants to take her by the chin and make her meet his gaze, but in the absence of sunlight or tears to wipe away, Leo knows that touching her face might end up with his already wavering self control out the window. He clenches his fists, digging long fingernails into his palms. 

"And why not?" he returns, unable to help the bite to his tone. "Have you decided you've outgrown the term, yet you haven't outgrown sobbing over nothing in the middle of the night?" 

She flinches at that, and Leo feels an unfamiliar pain stab at his chest. Guilt, most likely, but he can't take back the words once she replies, a similar bitterness in her tone, only this one is tainted with a maudlin tremor. 

"Don't pretend like Xander or Garon haven't told everything after they'd caught me overhearing their conversation," she whispers, exhaling shakily. She lifts her eyes up to look at him, and her gaze is hurt and hurtful at the same time. "If this is your idea of a game, then _please_ ; leave me out of it." 

Whatever knife Guilt had shoved in his torso, it is twisted even deeper by her words. Composure has always been his strong suit, but Leo is unable to stop the pained grimace that floods his face. He reaches a hand forward to reassure her, but she leans away from the offending limb, regarding him with fearful eyes. His stomach twists painfully and he curls his fingers into a fist, carefully resting the fist against his knee. Kamui watches him like she wants to cry again, but the regret in her eyes is overwhelmed by the stiff tenseness of her posture; she is a lost animal as much as she is a cornered one. 

"I can assure you," Leo begins slowly, "that neither Brother nor Father have said anything. But if there is anything that bothers you, I will lend my ear and help in whatever ways I possibly can. Family should and would do no less for each other." 

Her breath catches at his offer, and Leo mentally winces, hoping she won't start weeping once more. However, he is caught completely off guard as the white haired girl launches herself forward and wraps her arms around his neck, trembling silently into his shoulder. Leo stiffens, unsure of where to place his hands, but at Kamui's continued presence, he eventually settles his arms around her waist, holding her gingerly. 

"I only stated what was true, Sister," Leo mutters against her hair, praying that Kamui won't pull back to see the light flush that dusts his cheeks. Instead, he feels her turn her head, laugh hollowly against his neck; the warm breath fans across the exposed skin above his collar, making his fingers tighten and twitch against her silk nightgown. 

"You're too nice, Leo," she whispers ruefully, the way his name rolls off her tongue making his chest tighten. "Especially to someone who isn't actually your sister." 

Leo stiffens, unable to stop his shocked, sharp inhalation and moves to hold her by the shoulders, pull her back so he can stare her in the eyes. Kamui's arms remain adamantly around his neck, her grip much stronger than he could have anticipated, and racing thoughts of the expression that might be in her face cloud his mind. He squirms uselessly, trying to pry her arms off from around his neck. His fingers press against the bare skin of her arms as he tries to pull her away, but the girl's head still rests on his shoulder, her slow breaths painfully distracting him from the more important matter at hand. His mind is a jumbled mess — a war of confusion, panic, and a traitorous voice that hisses: his obsession might just be vindicated. Leo does his best to ignore all of it, trying to push words past a tight throat. 

"Not actually... What... _W-what are you talking about?_ " he demands weakly. "You're— we're... You don't know what you're _saying_." 

Kamui laughs again, finally pulling away so he can see the tears caressing the curve of her cheeks; they glow like fire opals in the candlelight, mesmerizingly round and poignantly aflame. She holds either side of his face carefully, palms pressing searingly against the cool flesh of his cheeks. 

"You're so sweet, Leo," she says tearily, and her shaky smile is unbearably beautiful. Kamui's hands fall away with a sigh, and his skin feels suddenly cold without her touch. He leans after her, but she turns away, picking up that forgotten apple again and running an absent thumb against its skin. As she presses the fruit into his lifeless fingers, she whispers against his ear, "For however stoic you pretend to be, Leo, you didn't call me Sister all these years because I couldn't see past that stiff mask of yours." 

Leo's mouth opens to respond, to call her name and call her back and erase all of this because for however painfully he ached for her, Kamui being his sister is the one thing that never changed; it has kept him silent for so long, painstakingly reserved and arduously proper, and losing that last continuity is sending him careening toward ruin. Whatever words has been dying to bubble out past his throat are quickly cut off by soft lips against cheek, too dangerously close to his lips for comfort. Leo's breath hitches, and Kamui's is gone before his voice finds him again. 

"Sister, wait!" he exclaims, bolting up to chase her disappearing shadow. The library door clicks shut before he's able to stop himself from tripping over his own chair and landing hard on his knees and elbows. Leo scrambles up and rushes to push the heavy oak doors open. The large thud of the wood echoes down the hallway, but no flashes of white or soft footsteps echo back. The boy flinches as the apple falls from his limp fingers and thuds dully on the ground. He dejectedly picks the fruit up and stares at it until his eyes hurt and begin to drift in and out of focus. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Could a girl casually ask you to comment again? Heh... I love hearing your thoughts!)


	5. doors (and the way i can still see your sad eyes behind them)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo sits up, a new sense of dread pooling in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to thank my wonderful readers for their comments other than by giving them a little bit longer of a chapter this time, so here it is! 
> 
> A little unbeta-ed, as always, so go easy on me.

Leo refuses to leave his quarters the next day. He had fallen in and out of a dreamless sleep after stealing new sheets and returning to his quarters that morning; as dawn began to poke through his curtains, he remained awake and stared at his ceiling for an eternity. 

Zero is the first to knock at his door, an hour after the crack of dawn. Usually the one-eyed man would be the one to drag Leo up, especially after fitful nights where he knows the prince had only slept a few hours at best, but Leo responds to his call by bitingly insisting that he is not feeling well. 

"Tell my siblings that they may carry on without me today," he says, adding a weak cough for effect. "I'm not well enough to come down or stomach food." If Leo considers telling his guard to mention Kamui's condition most likely being the contagious culprit as a side note, he doesn't tell the man anything. 

Leo doesn't notice he is holding his breath until Zero responds with a curt, "Of course, milord. Recover quickly." There is a momentary silence behind the door, and then quiet footsteps plod away. 

About an hour later, Odin pounds at his door. Leo is leaning back against his headboard at this point, fully dressed and flipping through a book on ancient battle tactics. The second his door resounds with the loud pounding, he knows immediately who it is. The loud voice that follows after also happens to clue him in. 

"My liege! The blood of your blood demands one more of like presence at the breakfast table in our present moment!" the mage insists, and Leo allows himself a grimace at the grown man's ramblings. "I know not what tense air grips their hearts in its greedy claws, but the Lady Kamui—" 

" _Enough_ ," Leo finds himself snapping, a knifelike interjection through the thick, wooden barrier. The man immediately falls quiet, and Leo can practically feel the anxious energy that rolls off of him and radiates against the door. "That's enough, Odin, please. Your pontifications only serve to aggravate me further, and what troubles _Lady Kamui_ can be dealt with by _my_ equally qualified siblings." 

An uncomfortable silence lies on the other end. Leo snaps his book shut, tossing it moodily to the foot of his bed; he can't help the bitter tone that taints his voice at the remembrance of last night's events, and wonders how much more the dark mage knows than he lets on. Eventually, Leo catches the tail end of what might be a muffled sigh. "But, milord..." 

"No, Odin," the prince grounds out past clenched teeth. "I am unwell and uninterested in any further discussion, with you or my family. That is final." 

There is no more painful silence, just Odin hurrying away, no doubt a childish pout on his lips. Leo tilts his head back, heaving a sigh as he runs a hand through his hair. His headband sits on his nightstand, dejected without the need for presentability. Just when the blond has resigned himself to at least a few hours more of undisturbed quietude, there is a rapid pattering of light footsteps, followed by a sudden crash against his door. 

"Big Brother, Big Brother!" a young voice yells, and he knows immediately who it is. 

"Elise? What is the matt—" 

"Big Brother, please come out!" Elise begs, whimpering tearfully past her words. "Big Sister Kamui is being weird and you please, please, _please_ have to talk her out of it!" she wails, and Leo sits up, a new sense of dread pooling in his stomach. The little girl sobs openly, leaning so heavily against the door that its hinges whisper small protests at even her minuscule weight. " _Please_ , she'll only listen to you; I know it!" 

Leo throws his legs over the side of his bed, promptly standing up and heading toward his door. Brushing hesitant fingertips across the wood, he asks softly, "What happened, Little Sister?" 

Another weak sniffle, and he hears small shifting sounds as Elise inevitably pushes herself into a standing position. "B-Big Sister Kamui said sh-she wasn't actually our sister," the girl chokes out, a fresh barrage of tears following immediately after. Leo feels the familiar, icy trickle of hurt trickle down his spine, and his outstretched fingers curl into a fist, nails digging into his fleshy palms as he flings his fist at the door. The _crack_ is resounding as it is painful, and Elise yelps before dissolving into uncontrollable sobs. Leo's breaths come out ragged and blood drips lazily down his knuckles, leaving scarlet spots on his pristine stone floors. Leo slams the side of his fist against the wood again, collapsing to his knees before it. 

" _Damn her_ ," he hisses, blinking hard as an unfamiliar heat stings just behind his eyes. His vision grows bleary, stone melting into skin melting into wood, and Leo sees the scarlet on the floor become tainted by translucent tears. His youngest sister still weeps on the other side of the door, and he furiously wipes away his tears, refusing to let any more fall from his eyes. Another series of heavy footsteps, and Elise's sob are smothered away by another familiar voice. 

"Little Brother, what did you do to poor, sweet Elise?" Camila demands, pounding her fist against his door. Her voice comes from directly before him, like she is sunk to her knees beside the girl, just as he is. There is nonsensical cooing on the other side, and Elise's sobs quiet into weak hiccups. "Don't make me break down your door, Little Brother," Camilla threatens dangerously, and he can tell she has pulled herself up to her full height by the way her voice beats down on him. "I _can_ do it." 

Leo doesn't doubt her. "I don't question your strength, Big Sister Camilla," he responds ruefully, despising the all-too noticeable tremor of his voice. He knows Camilla can hear it, muffled as his voice is through the door; her ears were always too sharp for her own good. "But I _do_ question your resolve," he continues slowly. "Even _you_ aren't sadistic enough to subject your youngest brother to another knife in the heart when he bears one already." 

Silence again; Leo knows the light haired woman runs every word and syllable of his response through her head, sucking the meaning dry from their paper thin bones. For as pretty a head she has, the eldest princess lacks no less brains inside of it. Eventually, he hears light footsteps padding away — no doubt Elise being sent away — and barely catches Camilla's low, "You sound exhausted, Little Brother. Get some sleep, and then perhaps it'll be easier for your tired eyes to see that you aren't the only one suffering right now." 

He bristles at her words, but her brisk footsteps signal her leave long before he can find the words to snap back at her. With the corridor empty once more, Leo lets his palm slam against the door in frustration, the sting and the sound painfully vindicating. He leans back on his haunches and rests his forehead against the wood, long bangs brushing against his temples. He bitterly wonders if Xander would come knocking on his door next, ready with stern, curt words and an order for him to unlock himself immediately. Not that Leo would listen to the older man. He squeezes his eyes shut and forces himself to breath deeply, unable to get over the persistent aching in his chest. He's being smothered and pushed and pressed together all too tightly, and it feels so wrong when everything else is the opposite; everything around him is crumbling, collapsing, and falling apart. 

So lost is the prince in his thoughts, that he almost doesn't notice the quiet rap against his door. The soft sounds vibrate weakly through the wood, and he feels it against his forehead before he hears it. Leo scowls at the interruption. 

"If it is you, Big Brother, the answer to any plausible question or comment you may have is _no_ ," he grounds out. "Or, perhaps in special cases: you can take your beloved sword and shove it up your —" 

" _Leo, don't do this_ ," a small voice pleads, and the boy is cut off as his blood turns to ice. He immediately straightens, falling backward on his bottom and the flat of his palms as he backpedals away from the door. His heart is fit to burst from how rapidly it beats, and the dichotomy of his racing pulse and his icy veins sends screams of protests through his body. 

"This is your fault," he accused shakily, hating the way his breaths come out labored and unsteady. He stumbles up to his feet, digging his nails into his palms. "How _could_ you?" he screams, smacking a flat palm against the door. At the earsplitting crack, he hears a whimper, and a subtle creak betrays that the girl has leaned against the doorframe. He can imagine her with her forehead pressed against the wood, winter white hair curtaining her face and her palms resting flat against the wood, fingers tracing the hairline crack along the otherwise smooth door. 

"I had to," Kamui confesses brokenly, and her voice is thick with tears. "I can't— I can't lie to the people I love, Leo. You don't understand how— how _wrong_ it felt." A muffled thud on the other side of the door, and her voice comes from below; she is on her knees, sobbing almost noiselessly. "It all feels wrong, and nothing I do is right anymore. This is wrong. My life is wrong, _I'm_ wrong. And it _hurts_." 

She melts into tears, weeping pathetically outside his door, and Leo feels his throat grow tight at the harrowing sound. Try as he might to push some semblance of words past his open mouth, nothing escapes his locked throat. Leo grits his teeth until they ache and cry in protest, and he squats down to her height. If he closes his eyes, he can see the white haired girl clearly on the other side; he presses a tepid hand against the area where her own listless palms might be clinging to the wooden door, trying to imagine her warmth through the thick barrier. 

"Kamui," he pushes out past his tight throat, tremblingly standing up. " _Kamui, don't do this_ ," he says, echoing her previous words. "Don't do this, please." The white haired girl doesn't respond, the pained hitch of her breathy sobs the only proof that she had heard him. He mentally counts to ten, thirty, sixty, her slowly quieting cries punctuating the silence in between each number, but quiet footsteps never sound to signal her departure. His fingertips had began lingering over the cool metal of his doorknob somewhere past 18, and at 63, he slowly clicks the lock mechanism open. Leo pulls his door open with an already substantial dread in his stomach, but nothing prepares him for the sight of the desolate girl before him. 

Kamui is collapsed with her legs tucked haphazardly beneath her, one hand trying to spread out and cover her tear stained face and the other hanging dejectedly against the air that solid wood once filled. Her hair is a mess, tossed this way and that, and a single golden apple sits in a nest of her bundled up skirt, like some priceless relic or stolen talisman. His traitorous heart skips a beat when he realizes she must have noticed and kept the small offering he couldn't help but leave at her doorstep late last night, and he hates that no part of him can remain mad at the girl when he is faced with her tearful, crimson eyes. 

Kamui's gaze meets his with the semblance of a startled deer, and he can imagine she would be sprinting away within a moment were she on her feet. But she just stares and stares and stares with her tear-brimmed eyes; Leo stares back, not realizing that he is holding his breath until his lungs start screaming for air. 

The spell of silence shatters when he leans down to circle her frail wrists in pale fingers, pulling her up with a firm tug. The apple falls off of her lap with a soft thud, rolling against the tips of Leo's bare toes. His fingers linger against the skin of her hands for a moment longer, sliding fingertips across the creases and lines of her palms, and he stares at the cartography of her hands rather than at her. 

When Kamui tugs her hands away, Leo mentally grimaces at his frivolity, berates his lack of restraint. The white haired girl bends down, gently picks up the apple that lay at his feet. She runs a finger over the discolored bruise that mars the gold surface, and with an almost scared tentativeness, takes one of Leo's hands and presses the fruit into it. Amethyst eyes fly up to meet crimson ones, and her gaze is painted with an ethereally stunning sadness. 

"A peace offering," she elaborates lamely, retracting her hands and wrapping them around herself. Her eyes are downcast and unsure, a bitter smile playing at her lips. "I can't blame you if you hate me, but know that I'd still forgive each and every one of you if you did." Kamui turns around, walking away to the legato sonata of her soft footsteps on the ground, but Leo's sudden hand on her shoulder stops her. He turns her around, wrenches her into a crushing hug. The scent of magic fills his nose as he throws his arms around her shoulders. 

His cheek is pressed against the coarse curls of her hair, his mouth near her ear as he murmurs to her, "I have no such hate for you, Kamui. Sister or not, I couldn't. I _can't_." 

Kamui gasps, sniffles and quiet sobs beginning to wrack her frame as she twists desperate fingers into the fabric or his tunic. The boy placatingly smooths down disheveled hair, leans back to press his lips against the girl's forehead, temple, jaw; her breath catches softly at the last one, and it takes an immense amount of restraint to not continue, to press more kisses against the line of her jaw and down the cascade of her neck. Leo steps back, bites down on his tongue until the taste of metal begins to faintly appear, and then he finally trusts himself to speak. 

He eases the apple into one of her hands, pressing her fingers against the resplendent flesh. Leo kisses the ridges of her knuckles with a carefulness reserved for the most fragile of glasses and crystal, eyes softly shut as he mutters against her warm skin, "If it's a peace offering, then I insist you keep it. Consider it proof that my peace has been made with you, and a reminder that it can still be made with the rest of us. I would sooner die than hold any hate for you, Kamui. We all would." 

He glances up at her past his lashes, and a small smile graces her lips, flickering like an uncertain candle, but alive and warm nonetheless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also srsly tho I read your comments over and over because they give me LIFE (and the motivation to keep writing, wink wink nudge nudge) and I'm the happiest person in the world every time I get a new one seriously thank you all so much like wO W


	6. i see my darkest secrets in the crystal clarity of your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smell of the library — parchment and ink and cedar wood tables — is drowned out by the scent of lavender soap and magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it's been a while, but I update this basically every few days, haha. You guys better enjoy it, as this chapter's pretty long!
> 
> Unbeta-ed, as per the norm. Have at it, and leave a comment, maybe? ;P

When Leo comes down to the dining hall the next morning, the tense air he had expected to sit stiflingly above their heads is nonexistent. However, a shock of brilliantly winter-white hair is also absent, and the youngest prince cannot help the small frown that pulls at his lips. He arrives at breakfast last out of the siblings, and Elise is already munching cheerily on her fruit when the blond pushes open the dining hall doors and walks in. Her roseate eyes alight as his head pokes past the dark oak, and the small girl is bounding out of her chair and tackling him with a magnanimous hug before he even has time to close the door behind him. Leo wraps his arms around Elise's slight shoulders instinctively, backpedalling a few steps in order to steady himself. 

"Oh, Big Brother, you're the best!" the young princess intones repeatedly, pulling away with a blindingly bright grin. She clasps her hands behind her back, rocking cheerily on her heels and toes as she rambles excitedly about something or other; the only words Leo can grasp from her relentless speech are _sister_ and _loves us_ and the occasional _Kamui_. With a small grimace, he holds his hand up, cutting the hyperactive girl off. 

"Little Sister, can you slow down? No one can understand a word you spout if you insist on babbling so hurriedly," he lightly chastises. Her smile turns sheepish for a second, but it doesn't fade. Taking a deep breath, Elise starts again, speaking slower. Her excitable energy pulls at the seams of her words, threatening to tear at any second, reminding him absently of Odin. 

"I don't know what you did, but Big Sister Kamui — or I guess it's just Kamui now, which is really weird to say, but — Kamui came into my room just yesterday!" Elise chimes, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet. "And she said even though she might not be our sister, she still loves us more and anything! And we both cried a lot, but it's okay because she promised she'd spend just as much time with us, or even more!" 

The girl's euphoric energy is contagious, Leo finds, and he can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips. It's nice to know that peace is being made again, slowly but surely. 

"It's like we're still family," Elise adds smally, a mature kind of melancholy to her smile that Leo never would have associated with the girl. "Even if we're not." 

Leo offers his younger sister a soft smile, patting her warmly on the head. "That's not something you need worry about, Little Sister," he tells her reassuringly. "We are as much a family as you make us to be, and don't you forget that." 

Roseate eyes blink, a small mouth falling into a bemused O for a second, and then Elise is exhales a soft laugh, looking up at her brother reverently. She gives him her brightest grin yet, eyes creasing and cheeks looking ready to split, and hugs him once more. It's less of an adrenaline fueled action and more of a profound thanks; Elise buries her face against his chest and mutters a soft, "You're the best brother _ever_ , Leo. Don't tell Big Brother Xander that, m'kay?" 

He chuckles at that, but pats her fondly on the back nonetheless. "And you're the best sister," he responds in the same soft tone. "Don't tell Big Sister Camilla." After Elise releases him, she skips back to her seat, humming amiably under her breath, and Leo makes his way to the table in a decidedly less musical manner. Camilla eyes him as he sits down, an unreadable expression in her lilac eyes. 

"I took it you slept well, Little Brother?" she asks smoothly, scanning his face in a way that easily belies how she is gauging his reaction. Leo responds just as smoothly back. 

"Wonderfully," he says, eyes trained on the flute of iced water in his hands. His eyes flicker over to Camilla's, briefly. "So wonderfully that I would hope all my siblings were afforded the same fortune." 

At that remark, Camilla's lips stretch into an amused smirk, and she returns to her breakfast with a low chuckle and a renewed satisfaction. 

As Leo grazes idly at the food on his plate, he turns nonchalantly to Xander. The older man looks neither troubled nor elated, but there is no air of tension around him, either. The younger boy wonders what Kamui had told him. 

"And you, Big Brother?" Leo asks, staring levelly at Xander. Xander is in the middle of chewing a bite of toast and when his head tilts up, the food is still pillowed in his cheeks; Elise snorts at the sight, but just as quickly returns to animatedly speaking to Effie, who stands demurely behind her. "You're oddly silent. You haven't caught what Kamui was nursing the other day, have you?" 

At that, Xander chokes, coughing past the food in his mouth as he grasps frantically for water. By the man's side, slender fingers hold out a flute of water, and the eldest prince takes it graciously. As Leo stoically watches the exchange, he can feel narrowed hazel-grey eyes on him; Lazward glares at him with gaze too harsh to be that of just a simple outsider's, and Leo ponders just how much the grey haired man was confided in by his master — or how much he had overheard. The tall man doesn't sit right with Leo, too spindly and oddly elegant on his feet to truly be the hardened mercenary he claims to be. The blond lifts his gaze to meet that of the grey haired man, daring him to speak, and hazel eyes end up quickly torn away. 

Meanwhile, Xander has stopped coughing and clears his throat before speaking. "Your concern is flattering, Little Brother," he begins with a polite incline of the head, "But I assure you that I'm perfectly healthy. Kamui was concerned, as well, and I told her the same." He places his glass down on the table with a delicate clink, adds in a softer, almost faraway voice, "To use her words, you can say we've, ah- put such ailments behind us and made our peace." 

Leo exhales a minute chuckle under his breath at his repetition of Kamui's words, biting the inside of his cheek to keep a small smirk from curling up at his lips. Despite the distressing events of yesterday, there's an unusual lightness in his chest — the shape of an apology and the size of a smile. He can't explain it completely, but he's no fool that can't describe the cause, from the tips of her toes to the halo of her winter white hair in the sun. The thought of her makes him restless, in body, heart, and mind, and he finds himself plagued with the sudden urge to find her. 

"I'm glad to hear that," Leo tells Xander pleasantly, following with a fluid, "And where exactly is Kamui, if I may ask? Has she already eaten?" 

"I saw Her Highness heading to the library earlier," a sharp voice answers, and Leo glances across the table to see one of Camilla's guards looking at him past unimpressed mahogany eyes and a perpetual frown. Her name escapes him, but he can feel it on the tip of his tongue. "Upon my asking, the princess said that she wasn't hungry and that I needn't concern myself with her," she elaborates, the briefest flicker of a sneer twitching at her face, as if the polite rejection had somehow offended her. 

"The library, huh?" he mutters to himself, pushing himself up out of his seat. 

"And I take it you're heading there now?" the redhead asks, fixing her gaze on him. In the sunlight, her eyes flash almost as deep a scarlet as her long hair. "My guess is that the princess went to the library for the kind of quiet people usually ruin." The _And you're a person._ is heavily implied. Leo pointedly ignores it. 

"Thank you for the information," he says instead. "Serena, was it?" 

Mahogany eyes narrow. "Luna," the woman sneers, but Leo is already out of his seat and half out of the dining hall before it occurs to him that he could have commented on her snippy tone. His feet bring him out to the hallway faster than his mouth can work out a response and a muffled _You're welcome_ drifts in one ear and out the other as he briskly walks to the library. True to form, Leo strolls past the first bookcase to find a familiar head of hair poring over an equally familiar book, both illuminated by the sun that pours like liquid gold from the adjacent window. 

"Kamui," he breathes as he slows to a stop before her table. The glowing sunlight haloes her winter-white hair, making her look like the celestial opposite to the shadow-painted specter from just a few nights ago. Crimson eyes lift up from their pages at his reverent greeting, and when they land on him, a smile instantly pulls up at her lips. The odd lightness in his chest is suddenly accompanied by a leaping sensation at her smile; he feels dizzy in a way he's never felt before, like everything is spinning _except_ for her, and Leo has a niggling idea as to when that change came about. For a moment, the world could be composed of only her smile, and it would make no difference to him. 

"Leo," she responds similarly, pulling up the chair beside her. "Good morning." 

The simplicity of her response is almost jarring, and as Leo sits down in her proffered seat, he tries to fit her words into the growing puzzle of their new relationship that buzzes constantly in his head. It has become evident that Kamui being his sister is something that can't be continued, but less evident is the path that they are supposed to follow from there. While this normalcy has always been a safe, if not sometimes frustrating, continuity, the new information that seats itself stubbornly in Leo's skull threatens to sit there and fester until it uproots everything else he has built around it. He can only say the dizziness at her smile, the breathlessness at her laugh are because he is glad to have his pseudo-sister's continued presence for only so long; there's so little that stops him from being trailed along by the slowly growing voice in his head, the one that whispers lips and teeth fingernails against his skin. 

Kamui leans over the table a little, tilting her head to gaze up at his face. She speaks warmly, the light breathiness of laugh mixing with her words. 

"Thinking hard on something, are we?" she asks playfully, smile never fading. "Things become easier when you say them aloud; I'm all ears for you, Leo." 

Leo coughs loudly at her offer, ducking his face and what are most likely dusty pink cheeks. He looks away from Kamui's concerned eyes, fixing his gaze on the window with a grimace on his face. The sky is clear above them, sunlight streaming pleasantly down, but grey clouds loom further in the distance. 

"I'm fine," he grounds out, clearing his throat and forcing away the blush on his cheeks before he turns to her. Crimson irises still eye him skeptically, and Leo doesn't have to fake the roll of his eyes. "Really, Kamui, you worry too much." 

"Oh, please," she laughs, pushing her book away and leaning on her elbow. Crimson eyes glance playfully over at the blond. “Don’t tell me you do not revel in the attention.” 

“I won’t tell you anything,” he responds primly, the hint of a smirk pulling up at his lips, and the loud huff that puffs out of her mouth rustles at long bangs. Kamui turns her nose up at him, pulling her book and herself over one seat, pointedly ignoring her companion as she resumes reading. Leo observes her with a fond exasperation, allowing the small quirk of his lips under the absence of her gaze. Lifting himself out of his seat, he moves himself behind Kamui, leaning on the back of her chair and curiously skimming the page over her shoulder. Leo mouths the words silently as he reads, the odd, wayward strand of her hair occasionally brushing across his lips as he does. 

“They’re the flower myths,” Kamui tells him eventually, eyes never leaving the page. “I promised Elise I would tell her about all of them to make up for… for yesterday,” she elaborates softly, unconsciously tracing slender fingers over the inky pictures on the parchment. “I also promised Xander I would spar with him later, as well, and told Camilla that I would help her tend to her gardens.” A rueful laugh bubbles past her lips at the extensive list. “You didn’t hear it from me, but I’ll admit that making amends is tiring business.” 

"All that for those three, and nothing for me?" he quips, standing up and crossing his arms. He has a mock-pout on his lips, amethyst eyes narrowed exaggeratedly. Kamui twists around in her seat to look at him, and he arches an unimpressed eyebrow at her. "You wound me." 

Her lips pull into a guilty frown, the subtle playfulness of his faked affront easily breezing past her. "Oh, Leo," she sighs, face falling. Kamui gently pushes herself out of her seat, turning to face him and placatingly taking his wrists in her hands. Her fingers are warm, branding heat and the memory of tingles into the thin skin over his pulse. "Forgive me; I can make it up to you, if you want," she offers. "Anything you wish, from me to you." 

The words send a spark of anticipation up his spine, a restless fire that settles in his chest and swirls about headily. He licks his lips unconsciously. “Anything, you say?” he echoes, staring at her hands wrapped around his for a moment before lifting his eyes to meet hers. Her crimson eyes are clear, a clean and earnest hopefulness shining in the crimson of her irises. 

She nods and replies: a resolute, “Of course.” 

Her words are so perfectly pure and unfalteringly candid, and the easy softness of her proceeding smile robs him of breath. Leo eases his wrists out of her grip, instead wrapping his fingers around her hands and tracing the lines of her palms with his thumbs. They are close enough that the smell of the library — parchment and ink and cedar wood tables — is drowned out by the scent of lavender soap and magic, a dangerously intoxicating mix; he could be leaning in — _is_ leaning in — and any warning bells that chime in his head are smothered by crimson eyes and the exquisite lift of the long eyelashes that frame them. 

He wants to kiss her. His eyelids threaten to drift shut at the notion, at the idea of thick hair twisted around his fingers and numbingly hot skin against his, searing and burning and consuming him alive. At her palms, his fingers still and trail up her arms; Kamui shivers at his feather-light touch, and his hands stop at her shoulders, almost piously brushing the white hair off of her shoulders. 

“Leo?” Kamui asks softly, but the sound of her voice still makes him flinch. He inhales sharply, stepping back rapidly. As he shakes away the all consuming haze in his mind, the white haired girl looks up at him with a small frown on her lips and concern in her eyes. He turns away from her, unable to keep the pained grimace from his face or the brilliant red flush from his cheeks. “Are you okay?” 

No. Definitely not okay, he mentally deadpans, but he doesn’t dare speak that aloud. Leo clears his throat, praying that his voice won’t be as hoarse and breathy as he fears it might be. 

“I’m fine. G-great,” he insists, back still facing her. “I’ll- er. I’ll think on your offer,” he stammers, wincing slightly at his lack of eloquence, and again at the way he jumps under the feeling of Kamui’s hand on his shoulder. 

“I need to go,” he blurts quickly, tearing himself from her grip and speeding out of the library. Kamui’s confused voice calls after him, her quick footsteps signaling that she is following him. Leo ducks into an alcove as he rounds the next corner, collapsing against the wall and holding his breath as the sound of her footsteps eventually fade away. Sliding down to the floor, he buries his face in his hands. The boy sighs deeply; his heart won’t stop hammering in his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay but, the chapter notes I scribbled for myself at 2am some nights ago were just:
> 
> idk happy sibling + kamui apology favors also leo probably just lol what about me and kamui just yeah man i would do anything for you to which he just bE STILL MY HEART I RLLY WANNA KISS YOU I MEAN OOPS WHO SAID THAT I NEED TO GO RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY 
> 
> Man, 2am though. Obviously the real deal turned out differently, but I hope my incoherent silliness made you laugh! I shake my head and laugh at myself all the time, haha.


	7. how can i not commit your every breath to memory?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tell me... _Tell me more_ ," he mutters dizzily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> laughs loudly because I couldn’t resist the urge to update a day earlier than I told myself I would. In an effort to wish you all a wonderful Throwback Thursday, here's some kamui/leo!hO DON’T DO IT + questionably written sexual tension + oh my god you did it
> 
> Unbeta-ed, so forgive any mistakes that lurk, and enjoy~!

Leo walks briskly down the hallway, what little moonlight the night promised blotted out by dark grey clouds and the ever present pounding of summer rain over their heads. Dinner is a blur for some reason, fading away into a distant fog in the back of his mind, yet the prince does not think too hard on the affair; he heads to the library as he is wont to do, intending to look for another book on elemental magic to replace the one he had just finished. He pushes open the heavy oak doors to the comforting presence of countless books and scrolls organized in wall-like shelves around him.

The library is only dimly lit by the lanterns that hang on the walls, but he finds his favorite table littered with candles as he nears it. Along with the candles, he also finds a startlingly familiar head of winter-white hair asleep over a haphazard stack of small paperback volumes.

Kamui looks unfairly angelic as she sleeps, the golden sheen of candlelight on the halo of hair around her notwithstanding. Her lips are curved ever so slightly upward, as if whatever she is dreaming about is pleasant, and the dancing shadows on her face serve only to accentuate the curve of her cheekbones and the delicate angle of her nose. Leo is almost hesitant to approach her, to step any further in search of his tome lest he wake the girl. She looks so serene, and Leo mentally weighs the possibility of waking her with the unfortunate realization that watching her as she sleeps is admittedly uncouth.

As if sensing his prolonged presence, Kamui shifts, stretching her arms out languidly before her and lifting her head sleepily. Crimson eyes are still bleary as she blinks up at him, a content smile stretching out across her face.

"I was wondering when you'd finally appear," she laughs, voice still slurred by sleep. Even with telltale fatigue in her words, Leo still feels his pulse speed up at the implication.

"Were you... waiting for me?" he asks curiously, stepping closer to the table. Her smile grows into a full blown grin, cheeks swelling and eyes creasing jovially.

"Maybe," she says cryptically, pushing herself out of her seat. Her eyes are half lidded, as if she could fall asleep again, at any given moment, but the flutter of her long lashes every time she blinks is a much more pressing issue. He watches the movement as she saunters toward him, feeling half in a trance. "Although, it was admittedly boring. There wasn't much I could find to entertain myself with."

His eyes flicker over to the collection of books on the desk. "And what are those?" he asks, raising an amused eyebrow at her. Kamui's smile morphs into a smirk at his words, and she circles behind him. Leo turns to follow her, but is stopped by slender arms snaking around his torso. He stiffens, immediately entering panic mode as his pulse skyrockets; the boy inhales sharply when she tightens her hold, pressing her chest against his back and making coherent thought inherently difficult. Her palms are pressed against his stomach, thumbs rubbing absent circles against the fabric, and the friction makes him dizzy.

"Oh, those?" she echoes with a low chuckle, voice dangerously close to his ear. Whenever she speaks, her breath brushes the shell of his ear, sending a jolt down his spine that stops decidedly in his groin. "Camilla lent them to me. They're romance novels with an almost overt amount of detail... on abdominal muscles." At her last words, Leo is met by lips brushing against his ear and fingers inching up under the hem of his tunic.

"K-Kamui—!" 

He gasps, a sound that quickly devolves into a soft moan when she runs her teeth across the shell of his ear. His knees feel painfully weak, and the blond can't tell if he is grateful for or mentally cursing the way he can't help but lean back into her as she presses her lips against his neck. Amethyst eyes flutter shut, and any last semblance of reason is washed away by the searingly hot fingertips that trace lines over the muscles of his stomach. She feels like heaven on fire.

"Tell me... _Tell me more_ ," he mutters dizzily, pressing his hands over hers. His breaths come out in pants. "About these novels of yours."

A low chuckle resonates in her chest, vibrating pleasantly against his back. His fingers twitch over her palms.

"Why tell you when I can _show_ you?" she hums against his skin, the low growl lending to a painfully familiar tightness in his trousers. "But first, Leo, I think it's time you—

 _Wake up._ "

What?

Heavy eyelids blearily blink open.

"Wake up. C'mon, Leo; wake up!"

The blond starts, knees banging against the underside of a table as he jerks awake. The thud is jarring, but it effectively shakes away the last remnants of sleep from his system. Not much can be said about everything else. His head is spinning with pain and the ghost sensation of fingernails against his skin, his heart is still racing, and the crimson eyes that stare down on him with concern help none of that. At the very least, Leo sends a silent thanks to the gods that his body hadn't physically reacted the way it did in his dream.

Around him, the library slowly fades into focus as his breathing slows; the candles that cover his favorite table are beginning to run low. Rain still beats on the large window to his side, and Leo's eyes hungrily take in his surroundings, trying to make sense of the heavy haze that still clouds his mind.

"Are you okay?" Kamui asks. The _real_ Kamui; his head still spins. "I don't think I've ever seen you sleeping in the library before. And you look so feverish! Were you having a nightmare?"

Leo grimaces, turning away from the girl and staring out the window. There's the telltale scrape of a chair, the sound of Kamui sitting down beside him, and Leo takes back his earlier prayer, instead beginning to mentally curse every one of the ancient Nohrian gods in alphabetical order.

"Something like that," he grounds out, hating how breathy the words come out. "I'm fine now."

A brief silence, and then a careful hand on his shoulder. Leo sucks in a startled breath, but Kamui turns him around to face her anyway. When her fingers press up against his forehead, he feels his pulse skyrocket again, and his vision blurs at the edges as he violently backs away.

"Are you sure? You're really warm," she continues skeptically, narrowing her crimson eyes at him. His mouth feels dry.

"Uh."

"Leo..." she sighs, looking at him sadly. The guilt faintly registers past his hammering heart.

"I'm fine," he tells her shortly, setting his jaw tightly as he nods. "Not warm at all. It must have just been that your fingers are warmer than you thought. In fact, _you_ felt unnaturally warm against my forehead," he lies. She blinks at him, eyes scanning her own hands as she processes his words, and Leo desperately hopes that she believes him. When she purses her lips and stands up, Leo releases the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"Felicia used to do this when I was younger and lied to her about feeling feverish," the white haired girl tells him, and Leo doesn't have the chance to ask her what she's talking about before she gently takes his shoulders and tugs him forward, pressing her lips against his forehead. His immediate response is to screw his eyes shut and stiffen, which only causes Kamui to giggle softly.

"Relax. You're just a bit warm, is all," she mutters, lips ghosting across his skin with every word and making it hard to breathe steadily. "But you don't feel sick." After her verdict, Leo hesitantly peels his eyes open, only to be met with the sight of her chest. He slams his eyes shut again, acutely aware of the brilliant scarlet of his cheeks. Kamui doesn't move from her spot, still leaning her head against his, and he fights the urge to push her away.

"You don't have to stay there," he offers weakly, but Kamui only hums absently in response, winding her arms around his neck and leaning against him more. His face is in the crook of her neck and she towers above his seated form; everything about the situation makes his heart rate accelerate and his body tense. The sudden remembrance of restless fingers against his stomach doesn't make the situation or his desire to tilt his head up and press lips against the swell of her throat any better.

"But you feel so _good_ ," she practically purrs, nuzzling her cheek against his hair, and Leo urgently fights the need to press his legs together, especially when she stands between them. "So warm. I could fall asleep like this," she sighs dreamily, sounding sleepy already. Her dulcet tone does terrible things to head, and the itch to wrap his hands around her hips and pull her flush against him is almost unbearable. "Why can't we be little kids again?" she hums absently. "We could share a bed and it'd be okay."

Leo's eyes fly open at that, and he starts coughing violently. Kamui releases him instantly, backpedaling a few feet and staring at him with a mix of startled shock and concern. The prince curses the unavoidably bright flush of his cheeks, and upon finishing his coughing fit, leans his elbows on his knees and cradles his face in his hands. His heartbeat pounds in his ears, accompanied by the dizzying sound of rushing blood, and Leo almost misses her sheepish apology.

"Forgive me, Leo; that was... out of place," she offers awkwardly. Leo dares a quick glance at her past his fingers. There is a pained grimace on her face, but more noticeable is the rosy pink of her cheeks, set further aflame by the dancing candlelight. "Forget I said it," she implores. "Please."

"I don't think I can," he mutters bitterly, the sentiment tumbling out before he can stop it. "Forget I said that," he immediately follows the thought with. "Let us just both forget we said anything."

The silence that follows is bordering on physically painful, and Leo drops his head even lower, rubbing his temples in anticipation of the regret-fueled migraine he will be nursing in no time.

"I... _I don't think I can, either_ ," Kamui whispers, and her quiet confession sends a hot, unwelcome jolt up his spine. He stands up suddenly, the ear-splitting scrape of his chair causing the girl to wince. Leo keeps his head bowed, refusing to meet her eye.

"I _said_ forget it," he repeats darkly, unable to stop the biting tone that taints his words. He shakes his head. "I'm going to sleep. Farewell."

Turning on one heel, he stalks out of the library without a single look back. Once he turns the corner at the end of the hallway, he hears the faraway crash of books being thrown on the ground. It's followed by something hauntingly similar to a sob, but Leo shakes the idea from his head and walks faster. The sound of rain beating relentlessly down on the castle's stone walls follows him everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That wasn't exactly throwback, but I wanted a holiday-sounding reason to update, heh. 
> 
> And hopefully the story progression isn’t made too sudden by this chapter, haha... Thoughts? Comments? I love everyone's feedback and comments so much, honestly. You guys are the reason I'm constantly like 500% pumped and writing almost 24/7. Stay great, every one of you!


	8. rain cannot wash away the bone-deep poison of my sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her hands fit to his with breathtaking perfection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta-ed, so forgive any lurking mistakes, and enjoy~

After a surprisingly dry set of days, the rain returns with a vengeance — a small sprinkle that almost immediately devolves into relentless showers once again. 

Leo is in one of the castle's enclosed greenhouses just before that happens, simultaneously reading a volume on the origins of guerrilla war tactics and educating Elise on the names of the various plants that inhabit the soil. His mind is only half focused on either task, especially when Kamui's chiming laugh flitters musically past his ears as the two girls mill around in the soil. Since that moment a few nights ago, the both of them haven't spoken a word on the topic. Granted, they haven't been alone since, either — a fact he is both grateful for and made entirely restless by. Even with Elise in the same vicinity, he is hyperaware of Kamui's presence; she breaks his concentration like nothing else can, and he is painfully aware of how he has been reading the same paragraph for at least four minutes. 

When Elise gasps, bounding up from her knees, he looks up from his book, almost glad for an excuse for his distraction. 

"Is something the matter, Little Sister?" he asks smoothly, mentally cataloguing the page he is on and snapping the tome shut. 

"We're out of adonis seeds!" she exclaims, little mouth falling into a perfect O. She pronounces the name correctly this time, and Leo errantly thinks back on the countless times he's had to correct her before that was achieved. At least eight times, he concludes, as opposed to the two meager times it took for the young girl to master the pronunciation of _hyacinth_ , which she concludes is both her favourite flower and myth. Something about the perfect, tragic friendship between the youth and the sun god, she had gushed, and Leo wonders just how watered down a version Kamui had told her. 

"I can get some more seeds from Camilla if you'd like," Kamui offers, standing up on her feet and dusting her hands off on her tunic. Elise shakes her head. 

"No, let me do it, Big Si— oh, I mean, Kamui," she insists, tripping slightly over her words. The white haired girl doesn't seem to mind. "Besides, you already did so much of the planting work! I want to say I helped a lot, so let _me_ get the seeds!" 

Kamui smiles at the blonde, ruffling her bangs fondly. The younger girl shouts in protest, trying to swat the offending hands away, but the grin never falls from her face. 

"Okay, I'll get the soil ready while you're gone," Kamui eventually concedes. The blonde nods. 

"I'll be quick; don't worry!" she says, skipping to the greenhouse doors and swinging them open. Leo eyes her as she waves goodbye. 

"Grab a coat while you're back in the castle, Little Sister," he warns, glancing at the overcast skies. "I have a feeling that rain could be upon us sometime soon." 

"Nah, it rained for _days_ before this, Big Brother. I'm sure the sky is tired by now," she responds, bouncing on her heels. She looks ready to go. "You were probably too busy in the library or something to notice, is all! I'm sure it won't be raining anymore though." 

He raises a disbelieving eyebrow at her, to which she just smiles sweetly. 

"Don't worry too much," she tells him. "I'll be fine!" He watches her go, dashing off in the direction of the castle. Once she disappears from his sight, he turns himself back to his book, cracking it open to the right page with the intent to truly read. He successfully completes a few pages as his companion works on her gardening. Any further efforts to continue, however, find themselves duly nullified when Kamui gasps. Amethyst eyes fly up to look at her; she stands with her head tilted up to the sky, eyes wide in awe. Following her gaze, Leo finds the transparent roof of the greenhouse being peppered by drops of water. 

"Wow," she sighs, gazing up at the falling water. "I guess you were right about the rain, Leo," she giggles, smiling at him coyly. She gently places her tools down, brushing any residual dirt off her clothes. Leo watches the way her back curves and her hair waterfalls over her shoulder as she bends down to dust off her leggings, and absently snaps his book shut before he remembers to note the page number. The thought doesn't occur to him past his trance-like state of mind as he wonders what the fingers smoothing down her thighs would feel against his. Leo inhales shakily. 

Her mouth opens again and the trance is broken. "I hope Elise knows to stay inside and not venture out in this downpour," she announces suddenly, straightening once again. "I'd hate for her to get sick on our behalf." The prince hastily opens his book and pretends that his eyes had never left the page; the words twist and swirl incoherently around on the page, and he is only somewhat aware that this is not the page he was previously on past the drumming in his chest. When Kamui sits down beside him on the stone bench, he tenses, then rapidly flips a page to further his facade of textual involvement, only his minds reels with the faint scent of earth and flowers that still clings to her rather than words. 

Kamui leans back on her palms, staring skyward. The sound of rain falls over them like a curtain, and the pattering outside eventually becomes inseparable from from the one in his chest. Leo flips his page every 78 heartbeats. 

"I guess we'll have to wait this one out, huh?" the white haired girl contemplates, half to herself and half aloud. "Hopefully this late summer shower will only last so long." 

Leo hums in agreement, glazing over the page absently. He catches snippets of words and thoughts, but they are all lost in a sea of hyperawareness over the heat radiating off her form. Kamui leans over, pressing their shoulders together, and he stiffens, inhaling sharply. The girl doesn't seem to notice, instead peering over at the book, mouthing the words as she scans over the page. Leo watches her from the edge of his vision, following the delicate movement of her lips as she reads, her soft breath disturbing the errant curl that hangs over her forehead and before her mouth. The itch to tuck the strand back is sudden, and his knuckles turn white from how tightly he clenches his fists. He draws in a slow, deep breath, willing himself to relax; the incessant palpitations of his heart beg to differ. 

"Intrigued yet?" he asks, nonchalantly as he can manage. His throat feels tight, his mouth dry. Kamui turns toward him with a sheepish smile, the errant curl gliding across her cheekbones and cutting across the corner of her eye. His fingers twitch. 

"I wish," she responds honestly. "How you manage to read such archaic language escapes me. My head is spinning after just one paragraph!" She laughs self depreciatively, eyes creasing cheerily at the musical sound. Amethyst eyes chase the fluid swaying of her hair. Before he can think about it, Leo reaches out, catching the wayward curl of hair, fingers brushing against her cheek. Kamui stills with a small gasp, eyes wide. 

She doesn't breathe as he rubs the strands between the pads of his fingers, crimson eyes flickering between his own eyes and the hand brushing against the skin of her cheek. With a reverent tenderness, he tucks the hair carefully behind her ear, letting his fingers ghost along the line of her jaw as he pulls them back. Leo can still feel the sensation her skin against his like lightning, crackling hotly and restlessly right under his skin. It's exhilarating, and the prince almost wants to press his palm flat against her cheek just to taste the energy that sizzles beneath it once more. It's addicting. 

Her eyes follow his hand as he draws it back, and her own are turning white at the knuckles in her lap. Kamui's mouth opens to say something, but when her gaze flits back to his, her lips immediately snap shut. She stands up abruptly, back to him for just a moment, and he can tell she is breathing deeply from the way her shoulders set and fall. Under the absence of her scrutiny, Leo suddenly becomes aware of the minute tremble of his hands, filled to the brim with a restless, excitable energy. He feels charged, like a Thunder tome has taken the place of heart, pumping electricity through his veins rather than blood. 

When Kamui turns around again, there is tight smile on her face, eyes never completely meeting his. She plucks the book out of Leo's lap, snapping it shut and leaving it beside him, tugging him up by the wrists. 

"We're going outside," she announces, pulling him toward the door. Leo doesn't have the time to protest before he is dragged past the glass greenhouse doors. The summer rain is cool against his skin. Once they are outside, she lets go of his wrist like it is fire, and the skin underneath the ghost of her grip tingles. Before him, Kamui closes her eyes and tilts her head up to the clouds. She looks serene, and he watches her in awe, the feeling of water seeping into his clothes and skin almost nothing. 

"We're getting drenched," he tells her eventually, shouting through the pounding of the rain. Her smile is significantly less forced this time, whatever tension she had washed away by the falling water. Her winter white hair is soaked beyond measure, her dark tunic clings stickily to her skin, but her grin is the sun, blindingly bright. 

"That's the point!" Kamui shouts back, laughing breezily as she twirls through the downpour, kicking up puddles around her. Leo can't help the smile that twitches up at his lips at her whole hearted enjoyment, and when she slows to a stop before him, his breath evanesces in his lungs. She's resplendent. With the smallest of smirks, she holds her hands out, the spark in her eyes daring him to take them. Leo scoffs good-naturedly, arching a thin eyebrow at her. 

"You're kidding," he says. Her smirk grows. 

"You wish." 

Her hands fit to his with breathtaking perfection, sending heat and electricity arcing just beneath his skin. The prickle of the rain is nothing compared to her hands around his, and when she spins him, his world reels in more ways than one. Leo is reminded of rainy days when they were children, kicking up puddles the size of oceans as Kamui begged him to play chase with her in the heavy downpour. They would end up sick and bedridden the next day, but he could never be mad at her. 

The sound of her laughter pulls him from his thoughts, and she slows then to a dizzy stop to the tune of his racing heart and her panting breaths. She turns her back toward him, stretching her arms out like wings, and yells. Her joyous shout echoes across the empty courtyard, and she lets her arms wrap around themselves after that, sighing happily. 

"It's been too long since we've played in the rain," she voices contentedly. A slight breeze picks up, and Kamui rubs at her bare arms, shivering despite herself. Leo takes a concerned step forward just as she turns back toward him. His chin colliding with her nose sends the smaller girl stumbling backwards. 

Leo's hands find Kamui's waist before he can realize the flaws in this plan; her hands are curled around his shoulders, holding herself steady, and her face is close — _too close_. The blond can acutely see the way rain beads elegantly on her long eyelashes, committing the vision to memory. The faintest shade of scarlet dusts her cheeks, but his mind effectively blanks, vision tunneling as his eyes land on her mouth. Rain clings sinfully to the divot of her lips. He swallows thickly. 

"S-sorry," Kamui stutters breathily, fingers twitching anxiously at the base of his neck. He barely catches her words. The sound of the rain fades into the background. 

"Don't... Don't move," Leo breathes. His mind is hazy and he feels painfully, _blissfully_ in a trance; amethyst eyes blink, eyelids feeling heavy. 

"What?" she exhales distractedly, crimson eyes faraway. Leo doesn't answer; his eyes flutter shut and he falls into the enticing warmth of her body, pressing his lips carefully against hers. 

Kamui gasps. 

Everything stops, for one swift, everlasting moment. 

The kiss is brief and chaste, but Leo can keenly feels his every nerve ending on fire, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest in that momentous instance. He pulls back slowly, eyes still glazed over and vision spinning from the rush of blood in his head; even with the haywire energy that tingles and sprints through his veins, the blond feels half there, stuck in some ethereal existence between reality and fantasy. His very existence _reels_. 

Kamui brushes her fingers over her lips, staring blankly ahead with wide eyes. The bright red of her cheeks is jarring against the porcelain of her skin, and the sudden meeting of their gazes is Leo's sharp yank back to reality. He steps back in shock as realization washes over him like ice. The rain suddenly feels freezing. 

"Kamui, I—" 

"I'm going inside," she interrupts him shakily, eyes trained pointedly at the ground. Without another word, the white haired girl spins around on one heel, sprinting in the direction of the castle. He can't find the words to call after her or the strength to give chase. 

Leo continues staring down the path she had left long past her disappearance, completely frozen until a chilled shiver trickles down his spine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> laughs loudly
> 
> falls on floor
> 
> laughter devolves into sobbing
> 
> dies
> 
> i've ruined myself good bye friends ._.


	9. i am my own aftermath and my own collateral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nnngh, I've been messing around with this chapter for a bit now, trying to overcome a minor case of writer's block, so. shrugs. It's been generally rough week recently (I smashed my fingertip under a crate the other day, so typing kinda hurt for a bit... It's better now, of course, and I laugh at the fading bruise on my finger haha), but I figured I'd better publish now or never!
> 
> So here we go! Unbeta-ed, so excuse any mistakes that may lurk!

He's lucky enough to escape a cold. In fact, the only thing Leo suffers with the next day is a deep-set regret in the pit of his chest and a niggling irritability. They're both the result of the same cause. He thoroughly considers not leaving his room at all, and is pleasantly in the process of doing so, leaned up against his headboard and surrounded by stolen library books. The prince would have stayed that way indefinitely if not for Elise happening upon his locked door as Odin is pounding on the wood and trying to urge him to come down for lunch. 

There is a sudden quiet as Odin's ramblings momentarily stop. Leo mentally braces himself. 

"Lady Elise!" the dark mage then exclaims, "You must assist me in convincing the Prince that attending to this afternoon's meal is of the utmost importance. This would be my liege's second time forgoing the life giving properties of such sustenance within this same moon, and I begin to fear the worst!" 

The small girl's voice cuts clearly through the barrier. Leo looks up from his book. 

"Big Brother? What are you still doing in your room?" she questions. "You're not sick too, are you?" 

Leo sighs to himself. Quietly snapping his book shut, he carefully swings his feet off the bed and makes his way over to the door. The prince tiredly swings the wood open to a frantic Odin and a confused Elise. When her eyes land on him, they alight. 

"Big Brother!" she greets, offering a wide smile and a relieved sigh. "You don't look sick, thank goodness! I've been up _forever_ helping Kamui with a terrible fever, but I'm surprised you're okay," she continues, grinning animatedly. "You two are crazy, you know that? She told me what you did yesterday!" 

Leo almost chokes at that. "She _what_?" he demands urgently, but the little girl barely pays him any heed, barreling on past his question. 

"I mean, I like playing in the rain and all, too," she acquiesces, and Leo feels himself breath out a small sigh of relief, "but that's usually only when it's warmer. It's almost fall and this rain is cold. In fact, you better be thankful you aren't sick, Big Brother, because I'd be so mad if you two were _both_ sick!" 

A soft chuckle breezes past Leo's mouth, and he finds himself unable to bite back the minute smile that tugs at his lips. 

"I assure you, Little Sister; I'm quite well," he confirms. "Although, if Kamui is sick, I assume she won't be joining us today?" 

Elise shakes her head. "I forbade her from doing anything aside from resting today," she says proudly. "Healer's orders, so she can't argue. I mean, not that she really could. She was barely conscious the entire time I was there. I missed breakfast while tending to her, so I'm _sooo_ ready for lunch!" 

Leo nods absently at her words, humming in acknowledgment. When Elise tugs at his sleeve, he is broken from is thoughts. 

"Come on then; let's go down to lunch!" she insists. She turns to Odin. "And why don't you come too, Mister... Uh. Owen?" 

"Odin," Leo corrects automatically. Elise smiles at the dark mage, offering a polite half-curtsey. Odin smiles kindly back, bowing deeply and pressing a quick kiss to the girl's knuckles. She regards the action with wide eyes, cheeks slowly blossoming a soft pink. Leo watches the exchange with no small amount of growing disapproval. His lips twitch downward. 

"Didn't you mention you were starving after missing breakfast, Little Sister? I think we ought to hurry before Big Brother Xander and Big Sister Camilla begin without us," he interrupts, casually guiding the younger girl out of his room by the shoulders. A minute scowl pulls down on his face as he calls back at his guard, "Odin, if you could please return all the books I've taken from the library before following us, that would be much appreciated." The two siblings are out of the room and down the hallway in record time, blank hazel eyes still watching them in confusion as they depart. The stack of books he is left with is sizable. 

The two siblings are halfway to the dining hall when Elise finally snaps out of her stupor, wriggling out of her brother's grip. "Wow, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Big Brother?" she snickers, raising an eyebrow at him teasingly. Leo pointedly does not respond. "I think your guard is very nice," she hums cheerily, a bubbly smile on her face as she falls into step beside him. The older boy bites back a grimace. 

"He's an absolute imbecile at best," the older boy deadpans, to which Elise just giggles. 

"But almost everyone's an imbecile to you, Big Brother," Elise repartees. "And I know you wouldn't keep him around if he couldn't do his job well. I'm sure he's wonderful company if you set your mind to it!" 

Leo grunts noncommittally in response, pushing open the oaken dining hall doors as he does. Of all the conversations he could be having, one with his younger sister concerning an infatuation with his personal guard is not one he desires. As they sit down, Leo takes the open chair by Xander, leaving Elise to sit by Camilla — someone who could both control and humor the young blonde in such matters much more than Leo would care to attempt. Xander's dark chestnut eyes watch the younger boy intensely as he sits. 

"You look well, Little Brother," the man notes. "I'm quite surprised you aren't nursing a cold by now." 

"You wouldn't be the only one," Leo scoffs flatly. He takes a prim sip from his flute of iced water as he waits for a servant to dutifully fills his plate. "It feels as if half this castle expects me to be bedridden and sick, and I find the lack of faith almost insulting." 

A soft wince from Xander's direction, and Leo glances that way from the corner of his eye, glass still lifted lazily to his lips. A minute frown pulls down at his eldest brother's face, and Leo begrudgingly begins to regret his acrid reply. 

"Forgive me if I seemed that way, Brother," Xander apologizes lamely, and Leo sets his glass down with a soft click of his tongue. 

"Think nothing of it," he waves off, unable to keep the sigh from tumbling thereafter from his lips. "It's... plausible that I may have over-exaggerated the magnitude of other's reactions. Your apology is unnecessary, Big Brother." 

In his peripheral vision, Leo catches the man smile. Xander turns back to his lunch with the dumb expression lingering on his face, and Leo does the same, albeit with a small roll of his eyes before eagerly tucking in; he hadn't realized how hungry skipping breakfast had made him. The meal is eaten in silence until the empty chair to his other side is pulled out, and a smooth voice addresses him. Lilac eyes twinkle pleasantly as the lavender haired woman speaks. 

"Little Brother," Camilla addresses him, "Dear Elise was just telling me about a certain subordinate of yours," the woman begins sweetly, leaning on an elbow as she regards him levelly. Leo's grip tightens around his fork as he bites back a grimace. 

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about, Big Sister Camilla," he says with a tight lipped smile, to which she responds with an arched eyebrow. 

"Oh really?" Her grip is annoyingly light on his shoulder, immaculate fingernails pressing faintly into the skin beneath his tunic. "Well, if you _truly_ don't know, I suppose I'll have to enlighten my delightful little brother," she coos. Leo glances briefly over to Xander and Elise, hoping for a way out of what is bound to be another one of Camilla's familial torture sessions; both are distracted by some conversation or other with their retainers. Leo feels his previous irritability begin to ebb back in. 

"I'd really rather not," Leo tells her politely, but Camilla pays the boy no attention. 

"Well," she begins matter-of-factly. "Elise just so happened to mention one of your darling subordinates as we were having our girl talk. A _male_ subordinate. Do you know what that means?" 

"I'm afraid I don't really care," he snipes, lifting his glass to his lips. Camilla plucks the glass out of his fingers, delicately downing the rest of the water with a pleased smirk on her mouth. Leo's eye twitches. 

"Oh, don't be that way. I figured: since you're such a _darling_ little brother, I'm sure you wouldn't mind explaining the birds and the bees to our sweet little sister," she presses, tracing a manicured finger along the rim of his glass. Leo glares at her, snatching the glass right back from the woman. 

"I'd wager you're much better suited to such a task, Big Sister," he replies with no small amount of snark, "What with your doubtlessly substantial menagerie of real life experiences to pull from." 

Camilla laughs, a deep and altogether feminine sound; she's painfully unperturbed by his transparent jibes. "I'm afraid I'm busy; Elise asked me for a favor that I simply _must_ attend to,” she laments, rising out of her seat. She pats him playfully atop the head. 

He swats her hand away. “I’ll do it for you,” Leo offers suddenly. Lilac eyes regard him in twinkling amusement, and he wrinkles his nose at her. “Spare me your underhanded mannerisms, Big Sister,” he sniffs in disdain. “I’ll do whatever favor Elise has hoisted on you if you’ll leave me out of any coming-of-age lectures with our little sister. That's what you wanted to hear, yes?” 

An innocent smile stretches out across Camilla’s face, and she presses a delicate hand to her chest. 

“Oh, Little Brother, you’re too generous!" she gushes, enveloping him in a much too stifling hug. Leo barely suppresses a scowl, trying to push the woman away without touching her; it doesn't work. 

"I'm honored you think so, Big Sister, but please let me go; I can't quite _breathe_ ," he coughs, tapping her shoulder gingerly. Camilla gives her younger brother one last squeeze before releasing him, and Leo draws in a deep breath of air. The eldest princess smiles proudly at him, and he responds with an unenthusiastic grimace of his own — one she easily brushes off. 

"Take the tray on the other side of the table to our dear Kamui after lunch, yes?" she says instead; nothing drops faster than Leo's heart into his stomach. Camilla remains blissfully unaware of his turmoil. "She hasn't eaten all day, and the poor girl needs her food," Camilla elaborates as she slinks back into her seat. 

"Actually," Leo begins suddenly, "I just remembered that —" 

"Thank you once again for taking such a favor off my shoulders, Little Brother!" his eldest sister glibly interrupts, a overtly bright smile on her lips. "I'll be sure to talk with our dearest Little Sister on your behalf later." She winks at him slyly, and the boy begins to get the feeling that the eldest princess had planned such an outcome all along. The woman ends up effortlessly finishing her lunch before him; the prince's festering urge to throw up makes the idea of finishing his lunch painfully unappetizing. When Camilla rises out of her seat, there is a delicate smirk on her lips. 

"Do tell Kamui I send my regards," she singsongs at her brother; Leo tears his eyes away from his forsaken food just to glare at her. She waves her fingers at him as she saunters out, and Leo can't help but grind his teeth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I made myself accidentally ship Elise/Odin. RIP me.)
> 
> This chap was a bit of a filler, but I've received some really nice comments recently, and I'm feeling more motivated to kick this writer's block than ever! This next chapter's gonna kick ass or I'm gonna. I dunno. Maybe fall on the floor again. Just like after last chapter, which I'm still stRUGGLING TO THINK OF WAYS I CAN POSSIBLY TOP THAT?? I'M REALLY JUST DIGGING MY OWN HOLE HERE. BYE.
> 
> (Feedback?)


	10. there is a magic in your name that i can't live without

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her name on his lips feels like the sole reason he was given the ability to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to [Ciphon](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciphon/pseuds/Ciphon) for cheering me on and being such a sweetie like wow; talking to you gives me sO MUCH LIFE!!! Go read her stuff (it's Leo/Kamui too~); it's great!
> 
> Also, fun fact: in the early planning stages of this fic, I only had four chapters in mind. This is chapter 10 and counting. Goes to show how much I _adore_ you all.
> 
> Unbeta-ed, so forgive any little mistakes that lurk, and enjoy~!

Leo has every intention to be in and out of Kamui's room as quickly as humanly possible. As he nears the wooden door, the blond hopes and prays that the girl is asleep — or feverish to the point of near unconsciousness, at the least. Anything that would allow him to keep under her radar and out of her notice. His heart hammers all too noticeably in his chest, a perfect two count beat for every single step he takes, and no amount of deep breathing can allay the anxious palpitations. He swings the door open with a deep breath and steps in. Amethyst eyes land on her, and he stops. 

Even with the fever-red stain of her porcelain cheeks and the messy jumble of her winter white hair, Leo finds it intrinsically difficult not to stare. Kamui looks so impossibly frail, drowned in sheets and what little dull light ebbs in past the grey clouds outside her window. The fingers that hold the edges of the tray grow white at the knuckles as his grip tightens, and there's no denying the way his chest _aches_ at the sight of her. The traitorous whisper in his mind persists, snickering lowly as it twists a knife in his stomach and hums that he, too, had a guilty hand her current state. Such guilt, as it seems, has become synonymous with Kamui these days. Normally, the boy could repress such a feeling, could keep all of his traitorous feelings under dutiful lock and key, but she shattered those defenses like glass with just his name and a few maudlin murmurs. 

_You're too nice, Leo. Especially to someone who isn't actually your sister._

He sets his jaw, walks in stiffly and sets the silver tray on her nightstand before falling into the adjacent chair. Elise must have rested against this while tending to the sick girl. It smells soothing, like healing magic and syrupy sweet medicines, just overwhelming enough to let only the faintest undertones of Kamui's room seep in — ancient magic, maple wood furniture, and the ghost of rain. Leo wonders idly if she locked herself in her room and stood adamantly by the open window yesterday, letting the rain pound down on her face until she couldn't feel the prickles past the cold numbness of her skin. He wouldn't put it past her. 

In some way, the boy can't help but feel personally at fault for Kamui's current condition. She is easily the one that dragged them out in the rain, the one that has teased and tantalized him to the breaking point and beyond, but Leo can never blame her for anything. She breaks him in only the most poignant ways, filling the cracks with blindingly beautiful smiles and dizzyingly mellifluous laughs. Kamui is so much an essential part of his life that he doesn't know where he would be without her. _Whom_ he'd be without her. His heart could be hers to own and use as she liked; the most terrifying part is that he's not sure if he'd try to stop her. 

With a rueful sigh, Leo runs an agitated hand through his bangs. He leans forward on his knees, inhaling deeply through his nose. The scent of the still steaming broth Felicia had provided for the sick girl subtly pours into the air, mingling with maple wood and medicine. His eyelids fall shut, he exhales slowly, and Leo opens his eyes to Kamui. She's still asleep. 

"Sister," he tries softly, experimentally. The term doesn't fall from his mouth like it used to; it's stiff and too jagged, rolling off his tongue like broken glass, cutting his lips on the way out. It feels wrong to call her that, and the roiling discomfort is strangely vindicating. He tries her name next, the smooth syllables tumbling from his mouth as naturally as any drawn breath, floating like a whisper on wind; her name on his lips feels like the sole reason he was given the ability to speak, and he leans forward and brushes hair off her forehead, breathing her name again. 

"Why is it," he muses, "that you can fill my every thought with more ease than water fills the ocean?" He sighs again, falling against the plush back of his chair and staring at the ceiling. "I feel as though I am fragmented without you, Kamui, and yet, there is not even one little part to label as love when you still affix me together and see me as a brother." Leo closes his eyes, revels in the all-encompassing blackness behind his eyelids. 

"Look what you've rendered me as, without so much as being aware of it: a maudlin mess of apostrophe and outspoken thoughts." 

When he opens his eyes, even the weak grey light that seeps in through her windows is blinding. He looks down and her winter white hair, nearing silver in its luster, is even more so. 

"You are all I can _think_ about, all I can and want to _breathe_ , Kamui," he chokes out shakily, timorously. He grimaces, holds his breath as he counts her undisturbed breaths, and then tears his eyes away with an embittered chuckle. "And you sleep through it all." 

Shaking his head to himself, he stands up with a hard set apathy on his face. Perhaps he should make himself scarce from now on; there is an aching protest in his chest at the sentiment, but what little pride he has left whispers that he should. He can never hurt himself enough over this, years of silent frustrations blending seamlessly into each other, but hurting Kamui is something he'd never wanted or intended, even in his most secretive and darkest of dreams. The image of her sprinting away, wide eyed and rain soaked, still remains fresh in his mind; Leo turns toward the door with every intention not to look back, and steps forward. 

"Leo?" 

And then he stops. His heart stops, his feet stop, and every determined mantra urging him to leave; in one instant, they all _stop_. 

"What are you doing here?" Kamui asks sleepily, tugging weakly on the hem of his tunic. "Why are you... Are you leaving?" 

Leo clenches his jaw, so tight that his teeth feel on the brink of shattering. The panicky racing of his pulse easily matches up to the race of blood and incoherent thoughts through his head. He swallows thickly, turns around. Her hands into her sheets with a minute _poof_. 

Kamui peers up at him past a sleep-heavy gaze, eyes half lidded and expression looking painfully like that of a child's — expectant and unguarded. Her cheeks are still stained scarlet with fever, and the hammering in his chest borders on painful. He fumbles with answers to the girl somewhere past the spinning in his head, but nothing makes it past the tight seal of his throat; he should tell her yes. 

"Don't go," she insists. Leo inhales sharply, breath hitching in in his throat, and he opens his mouth to respond, only, nothing comes out. " _Please_ ," Kamui adds softly, followed by a series of shaky coughs. His resolve breaks and the prince kneels down at her bedside with an extended sigh. She offers him a tremulous smile past the thick curtain of her eyelashes, and Leo shakes his head, chuckling ruefully at his weak resolve. 

"I knew you would stay," she giggles quietly, absently patting him atop the head. The hand linger, smoothing down his hair and fruitlessly trying to push the too-short strands behind his ear. True to her fever, her fingertips are searing. Leo holds his breath, stares at the expanse of her palm from the corners of his vision. He counts the heartbeats that pass until his lungs give out and he's forces to draw in another breath. 

"I'm sorry that you're sick," he tells her eventually. His fingers find her hand, peeling the restless digits away and tucking them back at her side. 

"Is it your fault?" she asks vacantly, blinking crimson eyes from them. He can still hear the sleep in her voice, but her eyes are bright as ever. 

"Of course." 

She laughs, an oddly bubbly sound despite her condition. It must be the fever addling her senses, Leo reasons. "Okay then, Leo. If you insist." Kamui pauses after that, only to stare at him with an unwavering smile on her face. He watches her curiously, mulling responses in his head. 

"How are you feeling?" he asks, just as she blurts a sudden, "You should make it up to me!" 

"If it's your fault, I want a favor from you to make up for it," she plows right over him, tone demanding even through the bleary slur of it. "And I feel _terrible_. Absolutely horrendous." A badly stifled smile curls up at her lips, and Leo just barely resists the urge to make a sarcastic remark. 

"You have my sincerest apologies, then," he chuckles lightly. "How can I make it up to the Lady Kamui? I will acquiesce to any request she has." 

"Anything?" she echoes. "Okay. I'm cold," she declares, kicking the remainder of her sheets off her legs. Leo can't bite back the sarcastic quip this time. 

"I'd consult with the blanket you just kicked off in regards to that," he deadpans. 

Kamui only pouts at him briefly, exaggeratedly rolling her eyes in a way that reminds him acutely of their childhood; Kamui was never the shyest child, always one to perform to her fullest or not at all. He's torn from his musings as she circles searing fingers around his wrist, pulling him towards her; his knees knock against the hard wooden sideboard and the boy tumbles forward, palms landing on either side of her legs. His heart stops. 

"K-Kamui, _what are you—_ " 

She tugs at his arms again, landing him in the middle of her sheets and winding her arms tightly against around him. Leo tries to swallow the erratic palpitations in his chest, already fully aware that he has lost against the brilliant scarlet that dusts his face. The white haired girl remains blissfully unaware, burying her face into his chest and giggling softly. He finds it hard to breath, and wonders if she can hear his rabbit-like pulse past her fever-induced antics; he prays that she can't. 

"You're warm," she hums against his shirt, the heat of her breath diffusing through the cotton fabric and causing his breath to hitch. He's stiff, mind spinning too fast to form a coherent course of action, and the only thing he is acutely aware of is her hands over the small of his back and her giggles vibrating dizzyingly against his chest. Leo inhales a shaky breath. 

"Loosen up," Kamui urges, followed by a small yawn. "You're stiffer than Xander during our dance lessons. Plus, I'm still cold. My arms," yawn, "are cold." 

"Kamui, this is—" 

"Don't care," she murmurs petulantly, burrowing deeper against his chest. "You said you'd make it up to me for getting me sick. So stay with me. _Please_." 

At her soft plea, he sighs mentally to himself, but relaxes nonetheless. She presses herself painfully close to him, tugging the blanket back over their shoulders. The heat is stifling for Leo, almost unbearably so, but Kamui's slow breaths distract him from the problem well enough; he counts the heartbeats between each inhale and exhale, and by the time she has fallen asleep, the warmth has made him dizzy and the racing of his heart has only slightly abated. Ever so carefully, he untangles her arms from around him, tucking them gently by her sides as he wriggles free. He smooths her unruly hair back, pausing to study her before he makes his escape. Unable to resist the urge, he brushes the bangs away from her forehead and presses a chaste kiss against her hairline; she still smells like rain, ever so faintly, but the scent neither gives him pause nor bother. 

As Leo noiselessly shuts the door behind him when he leaves, he glances back one last time; Kamui's cheeks are still flushed a bright red and her hair still spreads out around her like a lopsided halo, but she is asleep once more, a delicate smile curled over her lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist all the cliches. Sorry, heh.
> 
> Also! If any of you are interested in a totally self-serving Leo/Kamui (and maaaaybe FE:if in general, but leO/KAMUI!!!) group chat on Skype this Friday the 9th, either add me (postfixrevolution) with a message asking to join in on this hella thirst Leo/Kamui party, or add AO3 writer cakecakecake (witchhearted)! cakecakecake will be hosting this, and it'll be roughly all day in Central Standard Time. I'll be there later in the afternoon, Pacific Standard Time!
> 
> Also, check out cakecakecake's [don't let me be the last to know](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4309089/chapters/9767610) for all the smut that I could never write~


	11. your fire is contagious//i feel it past my skin and bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lie falls effortlessly from his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta-ed again, so forgive any little mistakes that lurk, and enjoy~!
> 
>  
> 
> Shout-out to everyone who was on the Leo/Kamui Skype chat yesterday; you guys puMPED ME UP TO WRITE A LOT THANKS YOU'RE ALL PERFECT

Leo has a hard time believing yesterday happened with the way Kamui pleasantly smiles at him the next afternoon. The sight sends him into a tizzy — tight throat and racing heart; he swallows forcibly and responds with a polite good morning before stiffly sitting down. He'd dreamt about her again last night, restless hands and gasped _I love you_ ’s, and the easy brilliance of her grin does nothing to discourage the rapid pulsing in his chest. 

While the lack of awkwardness is by no means unwelcome, there is a coiling tension in his stomach that winds itself tighter every time crimson eyes meet his. He waits for the other shoe to drop all lunch, and the anxiety makes him decidedly restless, leg bouncing minutely up and down under the table. When Elise addresses him, he starts almost indiscernibly. Leo scans the table to see if anyone noticed; Camilla's knowing eyes are too busy being fixed on Luna as the two avidly discuss beauty tips, Xander is occupied by discussing weapon care with a strangely opinionated Odin, and Elise isn't quite acute enough to catch his slip. Across from him, he can feel crimson eyes giving him a sidelong look, and he knows that at least _one_ person has caught him. 

"My apologies, what was that again, Little Sister?" he addresses the young blonde. She waves a dismissive hand, forgiving him his momentary distraction. 

"No need to apologize, Big Brother," Elise tells him earnestly. "I was just wondering if you wanted to join Kamui, Effie, and me to go horseback riding after lunch. Consider it a celebration of Kamui's getting better so soon! Plus, it's _finally_ nice out after all that dumb rain." 

The corner of his mouth quirks upward. "Well, if you're the one asking, I suppose I have no choice, do I?" he quips, to which the little girl just beams. 

"Nope!" she chimes, eyes creasing from the sheer magnitude of her smile. Leo allows himself the softest chuckle at her antics, watching fondly as she turns around to address her silver-haired guard, talking animatedly about the morning to come. The roiling tension in his stomach is eased slightly by her nearly contagious excitement, and the blond returns to his lunch with a slightly better appetite. His leg still bounces ever so slightly, but he blames that on the lingering feeling of crimson eyes on him. 

"I can't remember the last time I've been out horse back riding," Kamui sighs from beside him. He glances at her from the corner of his vision; a wistful smile paints her face. "It's been so long!" 

Leo closes his eyes, pushes away the memories of last night, and then meets her gaze levelly. She probably doesn't even remember it. 

"It has been quite a while, hasn't it?" he agrees pleasantly, a soft chuckle escaping his lips as he lifts his glass of wine to his lips. 

"You seem excited," she notes, a teasing twinkle in her eye. "I don't think I've ever seen you so restless." 

He arches a thin eyebrow at her over the rim of his glass, ready to ask why she thinks so when a sudden pressure against his jittering leg causes him to choke, coughing and sputtering wine across his plate. All eyes are immediately on him, but the only pair that matter are crimson ones, staring innocently at him and the doubtlessly scarlet shade of his cheeks. The blond doesn't need to check to know exactly whose hand rests on his knee, stopping its incessant bouncing and tapping soft rhythms against the fabric of his trousers; he dries the violet liquid off of his face, sparing an icy glance at Kamui. The swiftest flicker of a smirk flashes across her lips, gone before he even blinks. 

"Are you okay, Leo?" the white haired girl asks, head tilted questioningly to one side. He would believe the concern in her voice if not for the restless hand threatening to burn holes through the fabric of his pants and brand fingerprints against his flesh. She presses her palm flat against his thigh. The searing heat makes him swallow thickly. "You look feverish. I didn't get you sick, did I?" 

He deftly swats the hand away, squaring his shoulders and willing the scarlet flush off his cheeks. "I'm fine," he snaps primly, sniffing at her; the lie falls effortlessly from his lips. The prince breathes deeply, trying to quash the turbulent staccato in his chest. It doesn't fade any slower than a messy allegro, and his leg starts bouncing again. On one hand, he's glad for all the eyes on him, a tangible reminder of why he has to keep his composure, but a traitorous part of him can't help but resent his siblings; Kamui's fingers are fire, burning him in the best way, and he'd have her on the table with that heat ghosting across his bare skin _everywhere_ if it weren't for their present company. Anticipation arcs down his spine like electricity, stopping and coiling somewhere too low in his abdomen, and Leo quickly shoves the thought away, presses his legs together. "My drink simply went down the wrong way. It's no cause for histrionics." 

Elise giggles girlishly from across the table. "Just don't go choking yourself to death before our ride, Big Brother," she reminds him. A momentary pause, and she follows the sentiment with a contemplative, "Or after, either." 

"I'll keep that in mind," Leo promises diplomatically. "Sometimes these things just can't help themselves though," he continues, tilting his head so Kamui appears faintly in his peripheral vision. Her face is unreadable as she pleasantly eats her lunch. 

The youngest princess pouts. "Well, you better get those dumb things under control, then," she decides authoritatively. "Use that big brain of yours, or magic or something. You're absolutely forbidden from choking from here on out!" 

A soft series of chuckles ripples across the table at her exclamation. Camilla, who sits to the side of Elise, places a warm hand on the little girl's shoulder. 

"Elise, sweetie, royal authority can only go so far," the woman explains placatingly, offering a sweet smile. "And besides, if your Big Brother is a lost cause, no amount of express commands can save him," she tacks on saccharinely, a devilish giggle bubbling past her lips as she grins at the boy. 

Leo simply scoffs at the jibe. "I see you're feeling kind hearted and gracious as always, Big Sister Camilla," he deadpans, to which she responds by lifting her glass. 

"But of course! Now, shall we toast to your health and safety, Little Brother?" she repartees, lowering the drink to her lips. The lavender haired woman chuckles lowly past the transparent glass flute. 

Across from her, a giggle tumbles out past Kamui's lips. Leo eyes her warily as she mirrors Camilla, gracefully raising her glass. 

"It seems you'll need it on this _dangerous_ horseback ride we're soon to depart on," she quips, a challenging spark to her teasing smile. He narrows his eyes at her, meeting her crimson gaze head on. 

"On the contrary, Kamui," he responds effortlessly. "I find myself looking forward to the excursion." Underneath the table, he presses his palm against her thigh, rubbing the silk skirt against her skin. Her breath catches and she tenses at his touch; Leo can see the way her teeth are clenched behind the tight, close lipped smile she directs at him and hides a smug smirk behind another sip of wine. Camilla's lavender eyes linger on the pair for an excruciating second before flittering toward Xander as she picks up pleasant conversation about their own afternoon plans — something about spars, weapon maintenance, and getting over a fear of flying. The older man pales at the last suggestion. 

With their other siblings sufficiently distracted, Leo takes the opportunity to glide his fingers across the smooth silk of Kamui's skirt. She jabs warningly at his hand, shooting him a curt glare from the corner of her eyes as he bunches up the silky fabric, ghosting a fingernail across the skin of her thigh. The girl abruptly shifts away at that, stamping a firm heel over his toes in a skillfully nonchalant gesture, and he bites his tongue to keep the exclamation of pain to himself. The faintest of pinks dusts her cheeks as she gracefully stands up, smoothing down her skirt and offering a demure smile to her dining companions. 

"I'm afraid I still haven't fully recovered my appetite from yesterday, so I think I'll head up early to prepare for our ride," she announces, swiftly turning away from her half-eaten food. "Just send Jakob to alert me ten minutes before you want to depart, Elise." 

"Of course," the little girl chimes. "If you don't end up eating more later today, though, I might have to give you another check up to make sure you're not still sick!" 

Kamui smiles fondly at her. "I'll keep that in mind," she laughs lightly. "Thank you." 

With one last pleasant goodbye to her companions, she turns around and walks out of the hall. Leo watches her leave, eyes lingering that way until the heavy oak doors fall shut, and turns back to his nearly finished plate feeling less hungry and more restless; his leg still bounces minutely. After a few minutes of pushing the last of his eggs around with a fork, he stands, dismissing himself in a much curter manner than Kamui. With a last promise to Elise not to miss their upcoming excursion, he struts pass the oaken doors. 

Leo gazes briefly to the right, in the direction of their bedrooms. There is a tugging feeling in his stomach, urging him a different way. Taking a deep breath, he turns on his heel and heads toward the library. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The answer is yes. I really couldn't resist the temptation at all.
> 
> [ Speaking of libraries and not being able to resist the temptation... [casually self advertises](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4967368) ]


	12. the fall feels harder when we have a sky to plummet down from

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You need to let your brain catch up and realize that, perhaps... perhaps I have wronged you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went through a few mini-rewrites of this chapter — this one's cray, I _swear_ — but I think it's safe to say I'm quite happy with the outcome!
> 
> Unbeta-ed, of course, so forgive any lurking mistakes, and, ehehe... Enjoy~ ;P

Kamui is there, unsurprisingly, at their table. It hasn't been solely his table or solely hers in what feels like an eternity; a small warmth ebbs into his veins at the thought, coursing from his toes to the tips of his ears, and Leo allows himself the smallest twitch of a smile before he rounds the last bookcase, finds himself face to face with _her_. 

Kamui has a familiar book before her again, pages whose yellowed tint he has memorized exactly. When she hears him approach, she looks up, crimson eyes landing on the prince with the grace of a startled deer. 

"Leo!" she exclaims. "What are you doing here? What about lunch, or our ride?" 

"I could ask the same to you," he responds nonchalantly, circling the table toward her. "I recall you saying you wished to prepare for our later excursion, not head to the library." Kamui grimaces, mouth opening to respond, only to snap shut a moment after, lips scrunching into a small pout. She chews subconsciously at her bottom lip as she rolls replies around in her mouth; the tic does not go unnoticed by Leo, who almost misses her eventual response in his distracted stupor. 

"I thought I'd take a brief detour," is what she says. "And what brings _you_ here? Shouldn't you be preparing as well?" 

The blond blinks, shrugging as he stands against the back of her chair. "You could say I thought I'd take a brief detour," he tells her slyly, unable to keep the teasing tone from his voice, the subtle twitch of a smirk from his lips. "Encountering you was simply an added bonus." He runs idle fingers along the glossy wood of her chair, glancing feather-light touches over the expanse between her shoulder blades as he passes it; her reaction is immediate: a soft, sharp gasp and the stiffening of her shoulders. 

"Y-you should pull up a seat!" she blurts suddenly, the forceful urgency unable to mask the subtle stumble of her words, the catch of syllables in her throat. "There's no need to keep standing, really." 

A moment's pause, and Leo only hums absently in reply. He leans his elbows on the back of her chair, resting his arms over her shoulders and encircling her lazily. She could easily escape his hold by standing up, but the white haired girl remains frozen stiff, shoulders hard set and tense; Leo can feel the shakiness of her breath as it tickles the skin of his forearms, and he wonders if her eyelids have fallen shut, if her cheeks are painted a sunset pink. 

"Leo, p-please," she breathes tremblingly. "You're... You're _really close_." 

He closes his own eyes, the breathy tremor of her voice doing terrible things to his head. The only response that he offers is a noncommittal hum as the words glide in one ear and out the other; his body has a will of its own as arms wind around her form tighter, pulling his chest closer to her and leaning his head against the soft cascade of her hair. The scent of magic is like a drug, sending him into a blissful, half-conscious trance, and he inhales deeply. 

"Hardly," he sighs vacuously, lips brushing against the smooth strands of her hair as he speaks. His fingers itch to weave through them, to experience the cool, silken sensation for themselves, and he placates the urge with lips against the crown of her head, too long-lingering to be a kiss, yet too tender to be anything but. 

"Leo," she eventually grounds out, and the firm tone causes his bleary eyes to fly open. The fingers she winds around his arm are scalding as they try to pry him away, and he almost loses her next words in the wave of heat. "Let me go. I'd rather not resort to any extremes." Her voice is clear enough, but any authority she tries to lace it with is drowned out by the tremulous lilt that clings to it around the edges. He acquiesces to her request, but only partly; the boy still lingers behind her, leaning crossed arms against the back of her wooden chair. Amethyst eyes watch in slight amusement as the brief sag of her shoulders betrays her soundless sigh. When he exhales a low chuckle at the sight, the puff of air disturbs the sparse strands of winter white hair over her ear. Kamui's breath catches none-too-quietly in her throat. 

"Extremes, you say?" he echoes in amusement, peeling himself away from his perch and pulling up a chair beside her. She glances at him briefly from the corner of her eyes. Their gazes meet for a millisecond before she turns elsewhere, angled bodily away from him. Leo can't help the smirk that pulls at his lips as he regards the near-comical stiffness of her posture, the low, teasing timbre of his voice as he leans over her shoulder and mutters by her ear, "What _are_ you planning to do to your little brother?" 

She inhales sharply, something between a gasp and a choke, and Leo revels in the aftermath, unable to help his soft snicker. A part of him feels bad for the small coughing fit that surges over her, but the protestations are easily overtaken by the rushing of his blood behind his ears, a dizzying adrenaline that pushes his pulse faster with each second that Kamui stays so wonderfully, painfully close. She is easily the only thing he registers: the swish of her hair as she wheels around to glare at him, flashing silver and gold in the sunlight; the barely there tremor of her delicate frown, words that he cannot begin to know the shape of threatening to burst from between the seam of her lips; the blossoming pink of her cheeks, bright as sunrise and begging to be proven just as warm. Even in her affront, she is breathtaking; Leo stares at her for a moment too long, slack mouthed and glassy eyed, before he remembers to lean back, to blink away the entranced glaze of his eyes. 

"Just kidding," he tells the girl pleasantly, smirking at her past the hammering of his heart. The expression feels surreal in the face of such deafening thuds, a faraway sensation of curling lips and creasing eyes that he is only half sure really exists, especially when her crimson eyes flicker from his gaze to the slant of his lips. His smirk falters at that, then fades away completely. He finds he doesn't care, not past the way his own eyes drop inadvertently to Kamui's lips, to the soft pinks and the delicate curves and slopes that he has spent painstaking eternities memorizing. The abrupt desire to kiss her is by no means unfamiliar, but it seizes him by the heart nonetheless, drags him in a chase so fleet-footed and fanciful that when he finally stops, it is in a crashing flurry of limbs toward the ground and he lands spread-eagled with eyes pointed skyward; up there, there is the heavens and the sun that the earth centers itself around, and Kamui is both, so beautifully, blindingly _enthralling_. 

She stares endlessly, still as a marble statue, and Leo battles with the murmurs that urge him turn away, to avoid another repeat of rain-heavy clothes and fast-retreating footsteps. He almost does it — turns away again, erases any progress he'd made in love for this girl _because_ of love for this girl — but something stops him. Feather light fingers, sizzling with fire just under their tips, ghost along the line of his jaw, and his heart stumbles over its own erratic beats. The fingers find purchase against his cheeks, pads hot over the rapidly warming flesh, and Leo only sees dazed crimson eyes, heavy eyelids fluttering shut, before she wrenches him forward, lips to lips, and he forgets how to _breathe_. 

Kamui kisses him. There is an unfathomable desperation to how she does it, close lipped but passionate, fingers pressed against the side of his head as if he would disappear if her knuckles ever loosened to some shade besides white. She melts into him like water does to a surface, sleek fluidity permeating and filling every crack and cranny with instinctive ease. The idea that her every reaction is instinctive, that she was preprogrammed with him in mind to respond to, does not occur to him; if it did, he knows he'd kiss her back harder. Instead, his mind can't keep up with ease in which his hand finds Kamui's waist, how his opposite fingers find immediate purchase in the waterfall her hair — every bit as soft as he imagined it would be. 

When he swipes his tongue across her lip, the saccharine stain of wine still half-present and intoxicating on her skin, she gasps. Her lips are torn away from him in a flood of cold and empty air; the sunlight streaming from the windows and onto his face does nothing to warm the chill left where her mouth was just flush against his. His eyes flutter open languidly, eyes still glazed over with a foggy desire, and the only thing that stops him from leaning forward again, reclaiming the addictive warmth of Kamui's mouth on his, are her palms pressed firmly against his chest, a half arm's distance between them. He can still feel the tail end of her breaths against his cheeks. 

"Kamui," he begins breathily, but she cuts him off, breathes his name with an urgency that makes him freeze. 

"Don't. Don't do this, please; you have no idea of the _mess_ I am. You've been... You've been all I could _think_ about recently, Leo," she pants, voice pained and eyelids screwed shut; his heart skips a selfish beat despite the fact. Her palms, still flat against his chest and forcing a distance between them, feel like brands as much as bars, burning him as much as they restrict him. She inhales a trembling breath, exhales an even shakier one; tears coat her voice, thickly and timorously, but nothing ebbs past the tight shut of her eyelids. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've only ever told myself we were siblings, that I must never lead you on or hurt you, but now, I — _I don't know what to do anymore._ What to think, to _feel._ " Her fingers tighten into fists, desperately twisting the fabric of his shirt. A moment's pause, then she suddenly releases them, stepping back and putting a sizable distance between their bodies. Her head stays bowed, but the the incessant quiver of her voice makes it easy to imagine what kind of look must paint her face. Leo digs fingernails into his fleshy palms to stop himself from closing the distance between them again, stealing both the timbre and the tremble from her mouth with his, replacing maudlin words with muttered confessions of his own. 

"The line between this and familial love is so blurred, Leo," she exhales sadly, "and whatever this is, it's just a messy reflection of what used to be pure. I know that big brain of yours knows it — _somewhere_ — and... I've wronged you immensely by allowing my selfishness, my weak resolve to lead you on so far. I... I cannot ask you to forgive me enough." 

At her timorous confession, Leo steps forward, grabs her hand before he can stop himself. She stiffens instantaneously, but the blond refuses to let that deter him. "There's nothing to forgive," he whispers, shaking his head. "I could swear to _any_ of the gods above, Kamui; I lo—" 

She wrenches her hand away, pushes Leo back with a jarring force. His back collides painfully with the edge of the table. Her head is no longer bowed, eyes no longer screwed shut, and the brimming tears and quivering eyes are ice water down his spine. 

"I've already messed up," she mutters to herself, but he catches it nonetheless. Her crimson eyes regard him almost fearfully, and she drags a hand down her face, pulling hair across her eyes like a curtain. "It was out of my place to play such games with you, leading you on without even being realizing it." She turns her back toward him, exhales shakily. 

"You have such a big heart, Leo. The love behind it is infinite, but you need to let your brain catch up and realize that, perhaps... perhaps I have wronged you," she sighs, so breathily soft that he barely hears it past the quaking huff of her sigh. "I let this silly new situation spiral out of control and poison what love we had as sister and brother, all for want of something _selfish_. I... I think it'd be best if I leave you be. Yours is a soul too important to be tainted by poison like me." 

His heart plummets into his stomach. " _No_ ," Leo breathes, taking an instinctive step forward. Her arms tighten around herself, and she shakes her head furiously, winter-white hair reflecting sunlight like cascading silvers and golds; it's blinding. 

He doesn't have the chance to continue what he was going to say before she is gone — not that he knows what words he had predestined for his lips to form, that he knew some divine way to stop her as she left without a single glance back. Instead, Leo vapidly blinks away the afterimage of her resplendent hair to the heavy sound of her sprinting footsteps, the unspoken farewell that echoes in them trapping him from head to toe in speechless shock. When his mind finally catches up to his body, his knees collapse under him. 

He leans bodily on the spindly wooden chair, unable to control the violent shaking of his arms, the painful sting behind his irises. Amethyst eyes are blurred by brimming tears as they regard the space where Kamui just left. Sunshine still dances down on it, so blissfully, stupidly unaware of the harrowing chill that plagues the blond youth, and illuminates the yellowed pages of the book she had left behind. Leo reads the title — _Atlanta and the Great Race_ — and sweeps the tome off the table as hot tears cascade down his cheeks. The crash and slam of the heavy tome against stone drowns out the harrowing echo of his scream. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I used the My Room lines because I'm trash. Sorry.)
> 
> Okay but. I sat down and thought to myself, You know what I haven't had in a while? _Pain and suffering and wonderful, terrible drama_. You're welcome.
> 
> But in all honesty, this was pretty challenging to write, trying to express the complicated extent of Kamui's feelings using just Leo's perspective... To be honest, even just her complicated feelings in general, ugh. But hat being said! It's been suggested that I do a companion piece to this in Kamui's POV after I finish! It will feature sinilar events, but in Kamui's perspective, and I would definitely expand on things that Leo might not have been there for. Could I get a rough show of interest?
> 
> Comments, criticism, loud yelling at me to make that companion piece, and all else are welcome!


	13. i don't know what it's like to fly (but i know i miss it)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Love's supposed to make you want to be better, not make you feel worse! I hate this girl, I hate her!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, this was a longer wait than usual, sorry!! I'll be honest: I was sobbing and/or laughing over the PSAT and PSAT memes instead of writing for the longest time... But now that _that's_ over and done with, I'm back!
> 
> Unbeta-ed, yet again, and PSA I LOVE ELISE

Leo manages a hollow smile when he goes out riding with Elise, nodding politely when addressed and responding duly when asked. For the most part, however, he lingers to the back with Zero, watching as Odin animatedly regales tall tales of Nohrian legends to Effie and Elise, all while sitting backwards on his horse. 

Kamui isn't there. 

The blond apathetically hopes that his rambunctious retainer might topple off his precarious mount, if only so he could have a reason be upset, to snap. There is an itch in the back of his throat, one that begs for him to shriek, rendering his vocal chords to shreds with the force of his cries, or better yet: he wants to cut them out of his skin and be forever rid of the agonizing ache; he wants to _scream_. 

A delighted giggle from Elise, a panicked shout as Odin nearly tumbles sideways off his horse, and Leo is torn from his thoughts. The dark mage's eyes are comically wide as spindly fingers grip onto the saddle, but Leo can find neither twisted satisfaction nor the will to mark a snide comment at man's mistakes. He grinds his teeth only slightly when Elise trots up alongside Odin, helping him dismount and pull himself back up the right way, both wearing bright smiles and dusty pink cheeks. Her grin is brilliant, alight with enamored roseate eyes, and Leo scowls as he remembers his own — no doubt stained with a similar gleam of adoration every time they gazed into crimson. His stomach twists, and a none-too-bitter voice in head whispers: he should gallop forward and berate his retainer, should break up whatever this is before it can happen. White-knuckled fingers twitch around his reins, and Leo almost does. Zero's deep voice, steady and clear, stops him before he can. 

"The scowl and bad temperament do not suit you well, my liege," he says levelly, shooting him a sidelong look with his one good eye. "Even if your sister remains none the wiser to your mood, I have not watched over for innumerable years to let such a thing go over my head." A scoff pushes past Leo's lips and he sniffs at the man, turning his face away from him. 

"You state the obvious, Zero," he snaps. "The current cause of my irritability would have been rectified by now if not for your interruption." 

Zero puffs out a scoff of his own, halfway between a snort and a chuckle. "The situation between her Highness and Odin is hardly what bothers you, a fact we are both aware of. It certainly feeds your dark disposition, at the least, but there is something else," he states firmly. "Something large troubles you." 

"And what would you do if something did? What interpersonal qualifications do you secretly possess that allow you to help me in any useful manner?" the prince bites out, entirely more acrid than he had originally intended. The white haired man remains unfazed by the outright hostility, a fact that Leo would admire in the man, if not for his current mood. 

"I never offered emotional support, my liege. At most, I am an ear willing to listen and a mouth willing to offer objective counsel. What your heart says of the situation is something I will not pretend to have any jurisdiction over." 

"Then, your use is of no help," Leo concludes, effectively cutting off the conversation. He flicks his reins, urging his horse to trot pointedly ahead of his retainer. Predictably, albeit not quite welcomely, Zero follows him. 

"So you admit it is something emotional that troubles you," Zero notes, the smirk evident in his voice, if not his face. Leo mentally curses. "A familial conflict, perhaps?" He pauses, gauging the blond's reaction with one clear, cobalt eye. "Or is it an _ex_ -familial matter?" he adds innocuously. Leo whips his head around, glares daggers at the older man. 

"Do _not_ put searching for new guards above me," he warns. Zero remains annoyingly apathetic. 

"Odin will be crestfallen to hear such news," the man quips. 

"Do not be stupid, Zero; you know full well what I mean." 

"That I do," he responds abruptly, simply. A moment's pause, and then he continues. "However — if I may speak freely, my liege — I think that it is _you_ whom is being stupid here. Assuming others to be simpler than you and disregarding their personal complexities simply because you are smarter is no redeeming quality. While you are not quite boastful, little can be said of your underlying ego. I'd wager your current troubles stem from such a lack of understanding?" 

Leo narrows his eyes at the man. "I don't recall allowing you to speak freely." 

"And yet, you deny nothing." 

"That's _enough_ , Zero," he growls, the finality near tangible in his voice. "Go attend to Odin. Your prolonged presence is both unwanted and unwelcome." 

Zero presses his lips together, exhaling deeply through his nose. "I say this not as your guard, my prince," he begins lowly, "but as a close advisor: intelligent though you may be, you are not lacking in passion, so much that others may not be able to keep up. The body beats at its own tempo for everyone; do not try to rush matters of the heart." 

Leo doesn't respond. He tightens his fingers around the weathered length of his reins, fingernails digging into his palms as Zero flicks his own reins and trots ahead. Amethyst eyes remain resolutely trained on the ground before him, a slowly moving sea of verdant green grass. When the sound of slowing hoofsteps sidles up beside him, the prince looks up to see yellow fabric and hazel eyes. Odin peers at him cautiously, pursed lips and stiff shoulders. Leo meets his eyes unblinkingly, intoning a firm, "No," before turning away and guiding his steed away from the older man. What he doesn't expect, however, is for the sound of hoofsteps to follow him, falling into step beside prince with ease. To his credit, the dark mage does not shy away from Leo's glare. 

"And I suppose Zero has ordered you to lecture me as well?" the younger boy snipes, sneering in disdain. "It truly is a dark day when _both_ my retainers see it fit to go against my wishes." 

Odin winces at the diatribe, an apology near tangible on his tongue, but the words never fall. Instead, he speaks clearly and steadily, a seriousness in his tone that Leo is unaccustomed to. 

"There was never an intention to lecture, my liege. As our prince, your physical well being is important, but almost equally is your emotional state. While Zero would never admit it," the man begins knowingly, "He's near old enough to be your father, and treats his responsibilities duly." 

Leo can't bite back his annoyed huff, the roll of his eyes as he listens to the dark mage. He knows all of that, obviously, as he's been surrounded by these men for most of his life. The revelation comes to no surprise to the prince; if anything, it plants a small seed of guilt in his stomach, festering greedily, and he curses the older man for being so right. Odin pauses in his speech for a moment, rolling his next words around his mouth carefully. 

"My humble advice is: you are not at a lack of intelligence, but allowing that intelligence to assume things of people leaves little room for them to surprise you," he says simply. Leo hates that he can't ignore them, let them fly completely over his head, because it's harder than he imagined to possess the cold detachment needed to follow threats through and truly ignore his guards; _You have such a big heart, Leo,_ her voice echoes in his head, and the mage's words feel like salt in the bleeding, beating wound Kamui has left in his chest. All he can think of when Odin speaks are Zero's words and Kamui, and Leo wonders ruefully at the true extent of his guard's involvement in his personal affairs. 

Words again —softer, yet resolute — tear Leo from his reverie. He looks up to hazel eyes. 

"I think your troubles will yield surprising results, my prince, if you'll just take a step back and give her some space." 

Odin flashes him one last grin and a sly wink, flicking his reins and trotting off toward his fellow guardsman. Leo is left reeling at both his advice and the fact that he _knows_ — Odin knows, which means Zero knows, which means both his guards _know_ — and Leo can't decide between feeling horrified and feeling reassured. A sense of support is foreign to him, especially in this secret that he's worked for years to keep, but the surge of warmth still leaves him breathless. He all but barely manages to blurt out a quick, "Odin, wait." 

The dark mage stops, turning his head around to look at his liege, only a small amount of anxiousness evident on his face. 

"Yes, my liege?" Odin responds dutifully. Leo exhales deeply, a breath that could be made from smoke and heat for all he knows, what with the way it relieves the stifling pressure in his chest. 

"I am well aware of your interest in my sister," he says levelly, biting back a small smirk at the way the dark mage blanches, opens and closes his mouth as he physically flounders around with incoherent replies. 

"P-prince Leo, I— Uh. I can explain." 

Leo holds up a hand, effectively silencing the man. "The responsibility of handling both myself and my sister is a large one, and should your performance ever slip, you would do well to expect consequences," he states simply. "I found a wonderfully enriching text on ancient Plegian methods of torture the other day." Hazel eyes widen comically. 

"Wait, does this mean you—" 

"Dismissed," Leo interrupts primly, this time unable to help the small smirk that tugs at his lips at his retainer's wide-eyed expression. Odin's mouth still hangs wide open, shock and confusion still evident on his features, but he eventually regains his senses, blinking the bewilderment away and snapping his mouth shut. 

"Th-thank you, my liege!" he answers eagerly, a dumb grin blossoming on his face as he trots forward to catch up with the rest of the group. Amethyst eyes watch as the man rejoins the members, greeted with a near blinding smile from Elise. 

His smirk gives way to a small sigh as he watches his youngest sister talk, mouth moving at a near impossibly speed and hands gesticulating animatedly. It's neither a tired nor embittered sigh, but it's tainted with a note of melancholia; remaining irritated while watching Elise grin and gasp has always been a near impossible task. She's brilliantly alive in the way a flame is alive, filled to the brim with warmth and a bright, crackling energy. Leo can't help but hope she stays that way, that love doesn't strangle and shove her like it has him, but a smaller part of him also can't help but feel jealous, envious of the ease with which she can love, floating above the ground on the sensation rather than being dragged down like him; he's always been chained to the ground, Kamui has always been the sky, and even if he's shot her down, he's still locked in place and she's crashed down to the ground — they're both lost and it's all his fault. 

_I think it'd be best if I leave you be. Yours is a soul too important to be tainted by poison like me._

_He_ should be to one saying that to her, not the other way around. The feeling that he can do no right is by no means foreign, but it is crushing nonetheless. Maybe Kamui has finally said what he's been too selfish to say; maybe he should follow her example — to drop it and leave it be. He can feel around blindly for all his worth, but what pieces of their relationship are left for him to salvage? Leo's fingers twitch, urging him to turn his horse around, to leave the merry band ahead of him and find a place better suited for his brooding. A quick glance upward, and they're all still distracted, fixated by something or other that Odin is spouting; no one would notice should the prince slip away. With a swift flick of his reins, Leo turns his horse around, only to be stopped by a loud exclamation of his name. He stops, angling his neck around to see Elise galloping towards him at an alarming speed. 

"Big Brotheeeeer, waaaaait!!" she wails, completely forgetting that she ought to slow her mount. Leo's eyes widen. Her horse flies frighteningly close to his as she races past, and Elise jumps toward him in a terrifying, yet impressive leap, catching him in a tearful, haphazard hug. The older boy would have tumbled off of his horse had a pair of hands not been pressed against his back, keeping him balanced. Past the half-hysterical girl in his arms and the racing of his heart that _still_ hasn't come to terms with the fact that he isn't falling off his horse, Leo cranes his neck around and only absently registers that Odin is grinning at him and that the expression looks dumb. He blinks vapidly at the blond, then turns back to Elise. 

"Little Sister, is something the matter?" he asks, smoothing down her hair carefully. 

"Yes, of _course_ something's wrong!" she exclaims indignantly, words muffled against the fabric of his overcoat. She tightens her arms around him and harrumphs primly. 

"And are you going to enlighten me as to what's wrong?" he continues cautiously, to which Elise finally unburies herself from his chest, glaring up at him poutingly. 

"Odin told me that you've been sad because your heart was broken and you didn't even _tell_ me," Elise huffs, narrowing her roseate eyes at him accusingly. "I thought brothers and sisters told each other everything! I could have helped!" 

Her words him him like a punch to the stomach. His first reaction is to turn slowly toward Odin, glaring venomously at the dark mage. He has the grace to blanch, hazel eyes widening as he holds up his hands in surrender. 

"Odin told you _what_?" the prince asks slowly, eyes never leaving that of his retainer's. The older man swallows nervously. His glare is interrupted, however, when Elise punches him lightly against the chest, tugging his ear to make him face her. 

"Don't blame Odin; he was just worried about you, like me!" the little girl asserts. "And how come you tell your two _male_ retainers about your girl problems, but not me? I'm your sister _and_ a girl! I could have helped a lot more!" she rants, all while pouting moodily. She attempts to cross her arms to further prove her annoyance, but unwinding her arms from Leo's torso almost causes her to fall off the saddle. In one grand motion, Leo grabs her under the arms and lifts her off his horse, and to the ground; he gracefully dismounts immediately after. Now with the free room to move, the princess crossed her arms huffily, frowning and turning her nose up at her brother. Leo almost barks out a laugh, mind still lagging slightly behind the utter absurdity of the situation. With a fondly exasperated sigh, he squats down before the girl, looking up at her warmly. 

"It wasn't that I didn't trust you," he says sincerely. "I just assumed that being involved would be a bother to you, and I was wrong. Will you forgive me, Little Sister?" 

Elise's pout twitches noticeably, and she squirms about for a moment, playing at serious contemplation while battling the grin that threatens to overtake her face. Eventually, she relents, a wide smile blossoming on her face as she rolls her eyes fondly. 

"Wow, if I were the girl you were in love with, I don't know _how_ I could have broken your heart, knowing how nice and charming you are," she giggles. "I wish Odin would tell me her name so I can give her a nice talking-to for being so mean to my Big Brother!" 

Leo blinks. 

"You don't know who she is?" 

Elise huffs. "Odin refused to tell me," she explains curtly. 

Two dull footsteps, and Odin appears from behind Leo's horse, placing a placating hand on Elise's shoulder and smiling sheepishly. 

"My apologies, but such knowledge is not mine to bequeath, dear princess," he says solemnly. "At least, not in the presence of my liege," he adds with a grin, winking at her brightly. 

"I am not above replacing you," Leo deadpans. Odin continues grinning. 

"Oh, shush, you two," Elise interrupts, rolling her eyes grandly. "It's my turn to give advice to Big Brother!" 

Leo stands up, brushing the nonexistent dirt and grass off his legs. 

"You needn't get involved in such trivial matters, Little Sister," he tells her. "Odin exaggerates; I'm hardly heartbroken, or any other histrionic attributes he's labeled me as." 

"You know what, _this_ is exactly your problem!" 

"This?" 

"This! You keep pretending that nothing is wrong, when something obviously is. I've never seen you sulk so much," Elise says sadly. "I bet that after she rejected you the first time, you told yourself you'd give up and force yourself not to like her ever again!" 

Leo bites back a grimace. 

"Elise, please—" 

"Nope, you know I'm right, therefore you can't argue," she sniffs, harrumphing at him once more. "Besides, Big Brother," she continues quietly, roseate eyes softening, "You matter, too. Don't hurt yourself like this just for one person, 'cause seeing you hurt hurts all of us." Elise offers him a small smile, gently nudging Odin, who nods earnestly in agreement. 

"Just follow your heart, because if whoever that girl is can't appreciate all the courage it took to do _that_ , I don't think she deserves you at all!" 

She stomps her foot resolutely at her declaration, and Leo can't help the small snort that escapes his mouth. 

"She doesn't deserve me; she deserves so much more," he tells her softly. Elise blinks, staring blankly at him for a moment, before a sad frown sweeps over her face and she tackles her older brother in a magnificent hug, burying her face in his chest. 

"Oh, don't you ever, _ever_ say that again, Big Brother!" she cries into his coat, shaking her head rapidly. Her pigtails rustle furiously as she fidgets, and Leo's hands over her shoulders do nothing to calm the girl. "I don't care _who_ you're in love with; I want you to stop right now because love's supposed to make you want to be better, not make you feel worse! I hate this girl, I hate her!" she wails, squeezing Leo even tighter. 

Leo coughs weakly, tapping the little girl on the arm. 

"Little Sister, I can't— nggh, can't b-breathe well," he grounds out weakly, and with a large gasp, Elise releases him, pulling away and staring up at him with tear-brimmed roseate eyes. At her expression, Leo feels his stomach twist, and he bends down to her eye level, thumbing away tears with the pads of his thumbs. 

"You'll stop, right?" she asks timorously. "Stop hurting yourself like this?" 

Leo offers her a small smile. 

"You're more mature than I'd thought, Little Sister," he tells her warmly. She takes his hands, pulls them away from her face and palms away the last of her tears herself. When she meets amethyst eyes again, it is with a determined gaze. 

"Promise me you'll stop," she says. 

Leo's hands fall to his side, and he heaves a sigh as he stands back up. 

"I love her," he admits eventually, ducking his head as he feels his cheeks heat up at the confession. "I can't promise anything except that I'll try to heed your advice. Nothing else will be written in stone from here on out." 

An immeasurable pause, and then Elise pulls him into a hug again, something between a laugh and a relieved sigh between her lips. 

"That's good enough for me, Big Brother," she giggles, pulling away to grin at him brilliantly. "But if she breaks your heart again, I'm going to find her and scold her myself!" 

"Duly noted," he chuckles. 

"And just between you and me," the little girl singsongs, " _She's_ the one that doesn't deserve _you_. I wish _I_ had someone who was as gallant as you, Big Brother." 

Roseate eyes slide briefly toward hazel ones, and the man quickly averts his eyes, hiding dusty red cheeks behind a sudden coughing fit. Leo watches the scene play out and can't help the small smile that pulls up at his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention that Elise is precious and I adore her? Because she is and I do.
> 
> Also, I wrote a little [Elise/Odin thing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5028016) because oOPS I COULDN'T HELP IT. It's lame and cute and ajdkajdkjs


	14. if you'll open your eyes, you'll see the "i'm sorry" on my lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " _Honest and forthright_ ," she mutters moodily, turning her nose up at him. "When have you ever been either of those your entire life?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love using chapter quotes that can be interpreted multiple ways as summaries.
> 
> Unbeta-ed (yet again...), so forgive any dumb mistakes that may lurk, and enjoy~!
> 
> Also: As you may have have noticed, this is labeled as chapter 14/16. The out of 16 is tentative, but entirely plausible. Depends on what happens when my fingers start hitting the keyboard, I guess!

Silas all but kicks Kamui's door open, and Leo hears a shocked shout and a loud thud as the frenzied knight crashes in. The prince strolls calmly in soon after to see Kamui sprawled on the floor by her bed, cradling her head as a wide-eyed Silas rushes to her side, apologizing overtly and profusely. 

"Oh my gods, Kamui, I'm so, _so_ sorry," he intones, gingerly helping her up to her feet. "Please forgive me; oh gods, that was so _stupid_ of me." Kamui stumbles up clumsily, a pained grimace marring her features as she pulls her hand away from her head. Crimson eyes glance at her grey-haired companion first. 

"It's fine, Silas," she mutters dismissively, "but what are you doing here? Is something the matter?" The girl presses, brow furrowing anxiously. The boy frantically shakes his head in response. 

"What do you mean: is something the matter?!" he exclaims half-hysterically. "Prince Leo told me something was terribly wrong and that you wouldn't open your door!" Silas gestures to said boy over his shoulder, and when crimson eyes slide over to Leo, they widen slightly. 

"He _what_?" she squeaks, wide crimson eyes still fixed on the prince. 

Leo steps forward, offering a smooth, "You have my gratitude for helping me locate her, Sir Silas. You may go now." 

"Wait, but—!" 

"It's fine; you're dismissed," he interrupts firmly, and Silas's mouth snaps shut, a pained expression muddling his features. He steps away from Kamui robotically, offering a curt bow to the blond. 

"O-Of course... Happy to be of service, Your Highness," he says stiffly, then turns around, whispering a hopeful, "Later?" at Kamui. She smiles weakly at him, offering a helpless shrug, and the boy ducks his head in quick acknowledgement before hurrying out. The second that Kamui's wooden door clicks shut behind him, the smile evanesces off her face. 

"What... What are you doing here, Leo?" she asks quietly. The words tumble out like a defeated sigh, heavy syllables tugging down the corners of her lips and making her sound almost lifeless, so much more exhausted and aged than she's ever sounded before. The look she levels at him is unsteady, wavering tiredly between his own eyes and the ground, and even from across the room, Leo can see the beginnings of dark circles under her eyes and across the swell of her cheeks. She looks sadder than she did the night he learned they weren't real family, even without the flickering candlelight threatening constantly to drown her features in shadow. 

"You look terrible," he offers in lieu of a response. The white haired girl winces softly at his words, turning her head away from him as her grimace grows more pronounced. His fingers itch to smooth the frown off her face, his lips to kiss the shadows away from her porcelain skin. He feels his heart fall like the heavy sighs from her lips, and digs fingernails into his palms to prevent himself from stepping forward. It's like they're surrounded by broken glass, with nowhere safe to step; even if Leo would cut his feet a thousand times over if it meant reaching her, Kamui is so selfless that she'd blindly throw herself into the maelstrom just so he wouldn't be the only one bleeding, rather than letting him bleed himself dry for her sake alone. 

It's instances like this that Leo wonders how he can ever catch up to her, to match her in her altruism, her selflessness. It's times like this that he thinks she's so perfect that she's imperfect, all her perfections falling in on themselves from the weight that the world likes to throw at them. A flawed world isn't meant to hold something so flawless, and that just leaves her here, perfectly imperfect, and Leo somewhere in the dust, chasing after crimson eyes and Kamui. 

The crimson eyes blink and she sighs, tugging Leo from his reverie. 

"You could say it reflects my mood," she responds not un-sourly, sitting down on her mattress with a prim cross of her arms. "I have little desire to talk to you right now." 

"Then we won't talk," he acquiesces simply, briskly walking over and seating himself on the same side of the bed as her, albeit a few feet away. The way she squirms uncomfortably does not escape his notice, and the smallest amount of guilt begins to bubble up in his stomach. 

"Why are you here again?" she sighs exasperatedly, eyes pointedly averted. She's staring at the intricate pattern of her headboard and he follows her gaze, absently following the smooth curve of the carved ivy vines that twist and twirl across the wood. Maybe she's tracing the same vine. "Why would you want to talk to me, after all I've done to you?" she adds softly, almost indiscernibly; Leo has to lean closer just to hear her, and when he does, his response is immediate. 

"I couldn't stay away," he tells her candidly. She stiffens, ever so slightly, inhaling sharply through her nose. "How could I have?" Leo continues, "Knowing you blamed yourself for our situation the way you did?" 

There is a long, weighty sigh, and the boy watches as she deflates, shoulders sagging and arms tightening weakly around themselves. "Leo..." she breathes, and even though his name on her lips is the sweetest music, he still cuts her off, not wanting to hear the tried and tired tune that will fall from them. 

"No, Kamui; I need you to listen to me, please," he implores, reaching over and wrapping firm fingers around her wrists. She doesn't stiffen at the touch, but lifts her head suddenly, eyes flickering from his to his hands around hers. That crimson gaze lingers on his pale, slender digits for a moment extra before they slide back up to his own amethyst eyes and stay there. There is an inarguable tiredness in her gaze, but she still manages to stare unblinkingly at him — _into_ him — and there's little he can do besides marvel at the intensity of her startlingly crimson eyes. Kamui draws in a measured deep breath, like the slow, crescendo swell of a symphony, and she nods. 

"Okay," she tells him softly. "I'm listening." Those simple words slowly begin the impossible task of unfurling the anxious tension in his stomach. His grip on her hands loosens, just the slightest bit, and he closes his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as he prepares his next statement. Kamui's hands are warm in his, grounding him in this present moment as much as they send him abuzz, filled with the sense of closeness to her; he subconsciously traces circles across the back of them with the pads of his thumbs. When amethyst eyes open again, she is looking at him expectantly. 

"No matter how many times you repeat it, to me or to yourself: you've done no wrong." 

She frowns. "No," the girl whispers, "you're—" 

"Stop. This is exactly your problem." 

Kamui blinks. "Th-this?" 

Leo clicks his tongue quietly. "You're too eager to take the blame for everything, especially things you've done no wrong in. Sometimes it's possible to be _too_ selfless," he tells her simply, a statement to which she grimaces. 

"I'd hardly say that's the case," she responds quickly, a weak chuckle escaping her lips as she tugs her hands out of his, tucks stray strands of hair restlessly behind her ears. 

"Save for the fact that it _is_ ," he cuts her off smoothly, taking her hands and guiding them away from her face. He places then in her lap, and Kamui's gaze remains trained on them there; Leo resists the urge to tilt her head up, to bring her eyes up to his. "It may come as a surprise," he begins slowly, "but... you matter, too, Kamui. Seeing you hurt yourself under the weight of everyone else's burdens hurts us just as much as, if not more than, those burdens would have." 

Kamui wrings her hands fretfully, eyes still trained downward. When she finally tilts her head up, there is a self deprecative chuckle on her tongue. "And where did you learn to spout such niceties?" she quips, a rueful smile pulling up at her lips. She ducks her head slightly, as if to hide the small expression behind a curtain of hair, but Leo's already seen it, seen the shy smile and the small, teasing twinkle of her eye. 

"A little bird told me," he answers cryptically. "Quite a few little birds, actually. They all tweeted incessantly about how I should do this and that, but I ultimately decided that apologizing to you should be my first course of action." 

"Apologizing to _me_?" she chimes. "What for? You've done no wrong, Leo." 

"And I'd believe you," he offers, "if only you weren't so intent on leveling me with that sorrowful look of yours." 

"Sorrowful?" Kamui echoes huffily, lifting her head up to shoot him an affronted glare. " _Sorrowful_? I've done no such thing!" 

Leo shrugs as he pushes himself off her bed, hiding a smirk as he laces his fingers, stretches out his arms with his back to her. "I beg to differ; you haven't been the one seeing your own face this entire time, have you? Your gaze borders on downright pitiful, and I can't say the look does you well." 

A loud scoff and the rustle of bedsheets, and Kamui has sprung up beside him. 

" _Excuse me_?" she gasps, grabbing his shoulder to turn him around, "I'll have you know that—" 

"Pfft." 

"Wait," she stops suddenly. Kamui crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes at the blonde. "Are you... Are you laughing? ...You're teasing me!" 

Leo's lips curl into a small smirk as he arches an eyebrow at her, crossing his arms to mirror hers. "Oh, is that so?" he asks innocuously. "I'd say I'm being completely honest and forthright in this situation." 

Her eyes narrow even further. " _Honest and forthright_ ," she mutters moodily, turning her nose up at him. "When have you ever been either of those your entire life?" she huffs primly. 

"Whenever I'm with you," he answers immediately, eyes trained steadily on hers as she whips her gaze toward his, crimson eyes wide. 

"What—" 

"When I apologize, it's because I feel as though I've wronged you," he presses on despite her confusion, holding her firmly by the shoulders, "and I mean it wholeheartedly. When I tell you that your gaze is sorrowful, it is because it pains me to see such heaviness in your eyes, and I would not exaggerate about that. And when I say that you matter, Kamui, it's because you do. And I believe it with every fiber of my being." 

Kamui's mouth falls open, a tangible silence falling out instead of words. When she ducks her head low, hair falling in front of it like a curtain, Leo worries the shaking of her shoulders means she is crying; the fear is immediately assuaged when she brings her head up to look at him, though, a crooked grin stretched across her face and shaky laughter tumbling past her lips. Kamui throws her arms around him before he can fully register the brilliant radiance of her smile, the twinkle of her eyes when they meet his. His arms wrap around her waist like it is second nature — it's never not been, in his mind, because he could have been made only for her and he wouldn't be surprised — and they stand there until he loses track of the time, except that she's been in his arms for all of it, breathing some warm and breathy cross between cries and laughter against his chest. 

"Your little birds have taught you well," she eventually whispers into his shirt, angling her head up so she can meet his eye. There is a serene smile on her face, and the sight makes his heart skip a beat. 

"They have," he agrees, just as softly. 

"Leo, I... I'll accept your apology," she tells him, drawing in a deep breath and nodding resolutely as she steps back. He almost doesn't want to release her — as selfish as he knows the sentiment is — but ultimately does so anyway, internally lamenting the sudden absence of her warmth so close to him. "But only under one condition." 

He meets her gaze levelly. 

"I'll accept your apology," she begins slowly, "if you accept mine." 

Leo frowns. "Kamui, I've already told you; you have nothing to apologize for." 

"Except I _do_ , Leo!" she insists heatedly. A deep, measured breath, and she speaks again, calmer, "I do. Just... Hear me out, please." 

With an elongated sigh of his own, Leo nods, allowing her to talk. 

"What I said last time was selfish. It's not my place to tell you where we stand, siblings or no, or to forbid you from seeking out whom you want, even if... even if it's me. I never meant to try to control you, and that's why I'm sorry. You're your own person, and I'd have no one else but Leo as he is." 

"You know," he begins quietly, "that could easily be taken the wrong way." 

"And I don't care," she says simply. "I'm not ignorant, Leo. I... I've come to terms with the fact that we aren't truly family anymore. But at the very least, I know that there is something that binds us — invisible ties that unite us stronger than blood ever could. And that's what I feel toward all of you: Xander, Camilla, Elise... And you." 

He stares at her, unable to help the leap of his heart, the reverent gaze with which he fixes her. It's almost unfair how she can say something so simple, and the most he can do is stay there frozen, bowled over by how overwhelming candid she is. Kamui bites self consciously at her bottom lip, but she doesn't tear her eyes away from his, shooting him a small, hopeful smile. Leo has to force himself to breathe again, too taken in by her immutable beauty to remember much else. 

"Invisible ties," Leo finds himself repeating softly, unable to help the small smile that pulls up at his own lips. "Very well," he says, a small chuckle puffing past his mouth. "I accept your apology." 

Crimson eyes widen, and then her small smile stretches out into a full-blown grin — blindingly, dizzyingly bright. 

"Then I accept yours," she tells him jubilantly, cheeks swelling and eyes creasing from the force with which she grins; in this moment, with his heart tripping over itself and euphoric energy racing beneath his very skin, all Leo can do is smile back, trying his hardest to meet her infectious intensity for all its worth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA I LOVE SILAS HE'S SO PRECIOUS
> 
> Also, on one hand, I'm sorry I referenced the thing, but on the other hand. I regret nothing, ahaha.
> 
> Comments, thoughts, critiques, or— hey, talk to me about i'M NOT READY FOR THIS FIC TO END WHAT WILL I DO WITH MY LIFE AFTER THIS OH MY GSOSHSKLA


	15. your silhouette (and the setting sun that frames it)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But there's also more. Something like... Like _awe_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, it's been a while! I've been on tech week for a production recently (I'm the audio engineer! :D) so I've barely had time for homework, much less writing, haha... But anyway, here I am, and here we go!
> 
> Unbeta-ed, as per the norm, and I hope you enjoy~!
> 
> Also! The absolutely wonderful [CacaoMental](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CacaoMental) drEW SOME  
> AMAZING ART INSPIRED BY CHAPTER 8 AND I SCREAMED A LOT WHEN I SAW IT [GO LOOK](http://xaylu-art.tumblr.com/post/132109169780/dont-dont-move-leo-breathes-my-hatred)

Kamui sits cross legged on the ground, fingers idly skimming across the dirt and grass. Sometimes the slender digits still, trace circles around the base of an adonis flower or dig dull nails into the crumbly soil, rubbing the material between the pads of her fingers. She was planting flowers with Elise earlier, baptisia and azalea to match the adonis plants that speckled the ochre and verdant ground. Leo was enjoying the fading warmth of summer with them, sitting with a book on the sunniest bench of a garden drowned in a temperate pre-autumn chill. 

Amidst the tangerine glow of a slowly sinking sun, the girls' flower planting has long since ceased. Elise is situated on the opposite side of the garden with Camilla now, the two of them tending to the rose bushes that line the garden's many pathways. Kamui's eyes are both on them and somewhere faraway as she sits and stares. There is dust on her skirts, earth beneath her fingernails, and a small smile on her lips. She looks contemplative, content, and the dying rays of the sun that catch her winter-white hair paint it like a flame. Leo's concentration is somewhere between the golden sheen of her hair and the content of his pages; words register, but meanings don't, but the lazy curls of her hair do, yet there is only dry parchment against his fingertips — a far cry from silky, thick strands. All he can remember is the ghost feeling of them, cool and almost nonexistent between the pads of his fingers. 

"Thinking hard on something?" he finds himself asking. Leo quietly snaps the book shut as he rises and his fingers brush across the battered spine of the tome. Too many times thrown against the ground does that to a book, but the old book of Nohrian myths still remains in one obstinate piece; it's almost miraculous how the cover hasn't fallen clean off the pages, and Leo plays at the frayed bindings absently as he sets the book down and strolls over toward Kamui. She turns her head to look up at him when he approaches, squinting at his silhouette past the glare of the sun. 

"Nothing in particular," she admits sheepishly, a quiet laugh bubbling past her lips. "Flowers, maybe. The sunset. I can hardly see your face against it." 

"That tends to happen when you stare up at it," he notes, extending a hand down toward her. "But here, let us try to fix that." She rolls her eyes fondly at him, but takes his hand nonetheless. He pulls her up firmly, catching her other hand in his as she stands. Beneath the thin layer of dirt over her fingers, her skin is still soft, still exhilaratingly warm. He doesn't want to let go — not when her hands mold to his so seamlessly — and he looks levelly at the girl as he pulls her up, wondering if she can feel the perfect fit of their hands, if she would pull away if he never let go. So he doesn't let go, and she stares at their intertwined fingers for an immeasurable moment before crimson eyes glide up to his. 

"It's still blinding from here, you know?" she tells him with an amused quirk of of lips. "But I suppose it's the thought that counts." 

"Well, I don't think we can just settle for "the thought", now can we?" he quips, flashing Kamui a smirk. She arches an eyebrow at him, to which he doesn't respond. Instead, he leads her gently by the intertwined fingers, turning them around until her back faces the sun; Leo squints at the shadowy figure of her face and keeps his hands wrapped stubbornly around her own. The elegant cascade of her hair is what catches the golden rays of the sun most, then the solid outline of her silhouette, a striking sight that he wordlessly commits to memory. 

"Brilliant," she snorts, "but now you can't see. How about we compromise and stand this way? Better, yes?" 

With a careful tug of his hands, she urges them to the side until they are standing parallel to the horizon, the setting sun caught between the etched outlines of their profiles. Half of her face is painted in sunlight, and her eyelids flutter distractingly as they readjust to the light, catching rays of gold in a way that leaves him mesmerized. When her blinking slows and clarity ebbs back into her eyes, she stares up at him owlishly, as if following the flutter of his own eyelashes too, cataloguing the way sunlight clings to the short strands of his golden hair. Kamui stares at him like he is something meant only to be stared at, to be studied and gazed at so painstakingly, reverently close. There is a soft wonder in her crimson irises that robs him of breath, and the space between them suddenly feels too close and too far at the same time. Leo is so close that he's drowning in her — the heady scent of magic, the tail end of every warm breath that fans out past her parted lips — but the distance between them is still so immeasurable, so painfully great that even if he leapt — if he hopped the chasm and pressed his lips so carefully against hers — he'd doubtlessly plummet to the ground before he could even see the other side. It's almost cruel how she's barely an arm's distance away. 

"Leo?" she asks quietly, just as he remembers himself, blurts out a sudden, "Yes, a lot better." Their words intersect, a jumbled mess of syllables that betrays their closeness in the collision of warm breath between them, and Kamui is the first to react; with a nervous laugh, she takes a sizable step backwards, pulling her hands out of his and tucking them self-consciously under her arms. The sudden flood of cool against his skin is not the most unfamiliar sensation, but the blond laments it nonetheless. 

"After you," he tells her stiffly. Kamui opens her mouth, only to snap it shut, shaking her head. Her sun-colored hair glints brilliantly. 

"No, it's nothing," she dismisses him errantly, crimson eyes sliding to the ground. "It was irrelevant. Silly, even." 

"Try me," Leo responds quickly, so sudden that Kamui's gaze flies back up to his without a moment's hesitation. She gazes at him, wide-eyed and curious, as if waiting for him to rescind his offer, but he never does, only gazes back at her expectantly. A moment passes, he doesn't look away, and a small smile tugs up at her slack lips, a giggle bubbling past her lips. 

"Just an errant thought," she laughs breathily. "You're so much taller when we stand this close." A careful step forward, and she stands on the tips of her toes, stretches her hand forward and ruffles the hair atop of his head. His reaction is immediate, heartbeat spiking and head ducking out of her reach with a small shout. She snickers at his indignant exclamation, and offense is hard to come by when he's so entranced by the uplifting chime of her laugh. This close, he's full of errant thoughts as well: the gleaming catch of sunlight on her elegant eyelashes, the subtle divot in her cheeks when she smiles, the freckles that scatter across her skin like stars do a sky. If Leo is staring, he's only half conscious of the fact; he's always stared, always looked and looked with insatiable curiosity and vicarious wonder, and gazing toward Kamui is no different. He can memorize the curve of her nose and the line of her lips a thousand times over, but he can't help the new feeling of wonder that infuses him every time. Right now, they are lost in a moment of quiet that stretches far after the fade of her twinkling laughter, and her eyes flicker to and from his fleetingly, as if unsure of whether or not they wanted to stare back; if they did, Leo is fully aware that he would get lost in them — striking irises infused with every imaginable shade of carmine and scarlet — and plunge even further into deep water than he's already thrown himself. If Kamui stared at him with those intensely crimson eyes, Leo would drown, and he's not sure if that's a bad thing. 

Then she speaks, shattering the silence and breaking his trance-like reverie. Her eyes have decided to stray, to gaze sidelong at the sunset, only flitting to his for fleeting moments at a time. 

"Thinking hard on something?" she asks, a quiet chuckle puffing past her lips at the intentional repetition of his earlier words. She looks up at him past thick lashes, a soft smile blossoming on her face. "You were staring." 

"Not really," he fibs plainly, shrugging his shoulders. "You could say it's simply an errant thought," he adds coyly, unable to bite back the smirk he shoots her way. Kamui snorts audibly at that, quirking a delicate eyebrow at the boy. 

"Well, how about you try me, then?" she repartees. "If it's a thought from that big brain of yours, I'd hardly think it's errant." 

Leo snorts regally. "Idle flattery doesn't suit you," he notes with a teasing smirk, to which she just shrugs. 

"You don't deny it, though, do you?" 

"I don't claim anything," he retorts simply, exhaling a quick laugh below his breath as she pointedly rolls her eyes at him, lips stretching over stifled laughs. He eyes her a moment longer, arching an eyebrow at her tightly pressed lips, the subtle shake of her shoulders. The laughter eventually bubbles past her sealed mouth, spilling into a shower of soft giggles despite her best efforts to remain apathetic. As her laughter subsides, she tilts her gaze back towards him, brushing flyaway strands of hair away from her eyes as she does so. As the sun sinks lower and lower to the horizon, the oranges and ambers painted across the winter-white grow more intense; the sight is stunning. 

"You never did tell me what you were thinking so hard on," she eventually says. 

"That curious, are you?" he asks. 

"Sure, why not? I've shared my own errant thoughts, so you should share yours." 

Kamui watches him expectantly, the deliberate flit of her eyelashes every time she blinks more distracting than it ought to be. Leo rolls responses around in his mouth for a moment, trying not to meet crimson eyes and lose track of any coherency or trains of thought he had presently. 

"It's _your_ silhouette against the sunset, I suppose. There's something nostalgic about it just as much as it's startlingly new," he eventually tells her. She blinks at him blankly for a second, before he plows on. "I'm taken back to when we were children and you'd point incessantly about how pretty the sunset was. I remember being blinded as I tried to see what you saw, and your cool silhouette against the light was the only thing that assuaged my eyes." 

Her mouth falls into a small O, eyes far away and ensconced in memories, and Leo can see the childhood scenes himself, too, in the front of his mind and behind every blink. 

"Back then," he continues whisperingly, "your profile was softer, still full of the childish curves and swells that age hadn't touched yet." 

Kamui blinks, clarity ebbing back into her eyes slowly. Those eyes flicker up to his, and they stay there. "You say that like I've changed for the worse," she responds, just as quiet. 

"You haven't," is his immediate response. "If anything, Kamui, there is an elegance to your likeness that there wasn't before. I can look at your silhouette against a setting sun, and there's nostalgia, but there's also more. Something like... Like _awe_." 

Her breath catches in her throat, and Leo takes her hands hesitantly, wraps slim fingers around pleasantly hot wrists and brushes thumbs against the rises and falls of her knuckles. 

"You leave me breathless, you know," he finishes softly, amethyst eyes never leaving hers. She freezes — wide-eyed and speechless — and then she's gone, hands tugged out of his and as she steps to the side and turns her gaze pointedly toward the sunset. Kamui wraps her arms around herself, tucking her hands under her arms. 

"Idle flattery doesn't suit you, Leo," she mutters almost inaudibly. 

"That's why I never give it," he responds concisely. He looks at her standing in front of the roseate and tangerine sunset, and the shadowy outline of her silhouette contrasts starkly and strikingly against the blinding, diminishing light. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man. I love parallels.


	16. i would that my love is an ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It was silly, of course," she continues quietly, voice heavy with melancholy. "Just like you've said before, even apples magicked gold aren't truly gold."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh laST CHAPTER GUYS THIS IS IT
> 
> Unbeta-ed, for the last time (in this fic, at least, ahaha), so forgive any little mistakes and I hope you enjoy~!

Leo lies on his bed with one arm folded beneath his head and the other tossing a golden apple repeatedly into the air. The weathered book of Nohrian myths is sprawled open beside him, pages open to a story he has long since memorized. The flesh of the apple is cool and smooth against his fingertips, metal-like in both feel and appearance. He had been contemplating giving the fruit to Kamui all afternoon, ever since he'd absently pocketed the thing during lunch. Just outside his window, the sun is beginning its long trek down toward the horizon, and the prince still remains indecisive as ever. 

Leo catches the apple again in the palm of his hand, pauses, and absently runs a thumb across its gilded surface. With an exasperated cluck of the tongue, he throws it once more into the air, wincing as sails straight past its fingers on the way down, landing on his sheets with a dull thud. The fruit bounces off his mattress slightly, rolling finally to a stop beside the yellowed book. Side by side the old, inky images of the tome, the apple looks almost identical to the three illustrated across the story of Atlanta and her hapless lover. Despite her vaunted unattainability, the young Melanion had loved the fleet-footed princess, and even at risk of death, he had pleaded his love for her, racing for her heart with only three golden apples at his side. At times, Leo scoffed at the youth, but there were moments when he felt like his own hopeless hero, a meager Melanion chasing after a fast-fleeing Atlanta. At least he didn't have to face death if he failed; not that a life without Kamui wouldn't be the same. 

With a huffy sigh, Leo sits up, swiping up the golden fruit where it lay. He flicks the scarlet bookmark back between the book's pages, snapping it shut, gazing at the way the fading sunlight glints off the golden flesh. And then, as if the closing book were a signal, a prim knock resounds against his door. Leo tears his eyes away from the golden surface, eyes flying to the dark oaks of his door. In one fluid motion, he stands, tucking the book under his arm and the apple beneath his sheets. 

The knocking resounds again, this time followed by a voice. 

"Big Brother? Are you in there?" Elise asks. 

"I'm here," he responds, making his way to the door. The boy swings the wooden barrier open, greeted by bright roseate eyes and a pleased smile. "Was there something you needed, Little Sister?" 

"That book!" she gasps, pointing at the weathered tome tucked under his arm. "I mean: yes," she amends quickly. "Kamui asked me if I knew where the book of ancient myths was, and I said I'd get it for her. Are you done with it?" 

Leo transfers the book to his hands, running fingertips over its gilded cover. He rolls words around in his mouth for a moment, glancing at the gold letters on the book's hardbound cover and thinking back to the apple of the very same color stashed beneath his sheets. 

With a small flourish, he tucks the book back beneath his arm, flashing the little girl a quick smile. "As a matter of fact, I am. Although, I can give Kamui the book myself, Little Sister. You needn't worry about a thing." 

"Oh," she says. Elise blinks, staring blankly at him for a moment. "Well, I guess that works, too." She flashes him a smile of her own, lively and bright, followed by a chipper, "Thank you, Big Brother!" 

"It's my pleasure," he responds, watching fondly as she nods resolutely at him and skips away. When the ends of her blonde pigtails have long since disappeared around the corner, Leo transitions the tome back to his hand, brushing fingers across the embossed surface as he strolls back into his room. Carefully, he flicks his covers off the apple, swiping the fruit up and slipping it into his pocket. 

Kamui's room is one hallway away from his own, past three doors and around two corners. He walks the distance briskly, footfalls echoing dully off the stone walls, every step firm and steady until he reaches her door and he stops. 

It's a rich, dark oak like his own, identical except for its lack of a hairline fracture running down its wooden surface. Leo traces the area where it would be on his own door, the smooth wood cool against his fingertips. The apple starts to weigh heavy in his pocket, a tangible reminder of the reason he'd come here. He's fully aware that there's little room to turn back from where he's brought himself now. Knocking would be that final leap into deep waters, off some high precipice that he couldn't possibly return to. If he knocked, there would be no return; it's plunge in and swim, or sink trying. Whether or not he drowned would depend on Kamui. Whether or not he knocked would depend on him. 

His knuckles hover before the wooden surface, opposite arm methodically growing tired from the bulky weight of the book it carries. He glances down toward it, eyes catching the vibrant fabric of the little scarlet bookmark wedged between its parchment layers, and the pages flash through his mind, inky images and words all committed to memory. He remembers Atlanta and Melanion, great races and the three golden apples that the young man had thrown to the side, hoping to shake some ostensibly unshakable princess and win some ostensibly unwinnable race. Leo isn't sure when he had become Melanion, and Kamui became is Atlanta, but he's standing in front of her door with a golden apple resting in his left pocket, and he's never felt more Melanion than he has now. With a measured breath, deep and slow, he knocks on the door and waits. 

Kamui opens the door, and her crimson eyes widen for a millisecond before they soften, gleaming with an excited energy. 

"Leo!" she exclaims. "What are you doing here?" 

"Elise told me you were looking for this," he responds pleasantly, extending the book toward the girl. Kamui takes the tome with careful hands, fingers brushing tenderly against the gilded cover. 

"Yes, I was," she says. "Thank you, Leo." 

He hums in acknowledgement, watching as she opens the book, rifling through the pages absently. His hands are shoved into his pockets, left hand fingering the golden apple hidden in the fabric. When Kamui reaches the bookmarked pages, she pauses, crimson eyes scanning the words thoughtfully. Her eyes flicker up toward his, a small smile on her lips. 

"Were you reading this story again?" she asks softly, eyes lingering on the images and words fondly. She traces careful fingertips over the illustrations, regarding them warmly. Leo can't help the small smile that tugs up at his lips at the sight, committing to memory the delicate curve of her smile and the warm sparkle in her entrancingly crimson eyes. 

"I've practically memorized it line for line," he tells her, and she glances up at that, arching a thin eyebrow at the boy. He simply shrugs in reply. She rolls her eyes, but doesn't question him any further. 

"It's one of my favorite myths," she tells him wistfully, folding the book shut with a soundless snap. "I liked to pretend I was Atlanta, fastest and strongest maiden in the land, with my own Melanion willing to lose his life and throw golden apples just for me," she laughs, an airy sound that quickly fades away. "It was silly, of course," she continues quietly, voice heavy with melancholy as she gazes at the book's weathered cover. Her fingers trace the letters of the title one by one, slowly and fancifully. "Just like you've said before, even apples magicked gold aren't truly gold." 

Leo blinks at her, mouth falling open but no words falling out. Instead, he lets a small frown mar his features, gazing at her gazing at the old book of Nohrian myths and curling his fingers around the falsely golden apple in his left pocket. It's still cool, still smooth and metallic to the touch. Carefully, the blond tugs it out, throwing it in the air and catching it restlessly. Kamui glances up at the movement, unable to help the way her eyes alight at the sight of the golden treasure, and Leo catches the wonder as it blossoms across her face, wide crimson eyes and slack lips. 

"Even a falsely golden apple can still be worth more than a stolen fruit and a magic spell, can't it?" he postulates. "It is what you make of it, no?" 

Skillfully, Leo catches the apple in his palm once more, wrapping slender fingers around it as it lands. Kamui watches the movement as if entranced, eyes never leaving the curve of his fingers or the metallic skin of the apple. With the beginnings of a smirk tugging up at his lips, he holds the fruit out to her. Crimson eyes flick up to his, and his smirk grows a little wider. 

"An apple for the fair Atlanta?" he quips, a teasing smirk pulling up at his lips as he holds the golden fruit out to her. Kamui blinks vapidly at him for a moment, and then a small smile stretches across her face, a breathy chuckle tumbling past her lips. With a fond roll of her eyes, the girl exhales a breathy laugh. 

"If the noble Melanion insists," she replies playfully, reaching her hand toward him. Her hands reach toward his first, but then she stills, biting at her lip contemplatively for a second. Then, slender fingers divert themselves, brushing against his elbow and sending electricity up his spine. Leo holds his breath as they ghost up the skin of his forearm, painfully and agonizingly light. She then wraps her fingers around his wrist, crimson eyes never leaving his as she leans forward and takes a slow bite out of the golden fruit. Leo's mouth feels dry as her tongue wipes away the residual nectar on her lips, and he is mesmerized by the smooth line of her jaw as she chews, the curve of her neck as she swallows. Juice drips down the side of his hand, and when Kamui swiftly licks it away, his heart stops. 

The apple is a forgotten thud on the floor before Leo realizes it; his mouth is against hers before he can think. Kamui inhales sharply at the sudden contact, and the girl stumbles backward a few feet until his hands find her hips and steady her. The two are completely in her room now, but the thought doesn't occur to the prince until Kamui forgoes her shock and returns his push in full, slamming her door shut with his back against it. Leo gasps at that, but the sound is skillfully smoothed into a moan as she runs her tongue across his lips, cards her fingers through his hair. Her teeth brush at the swell of his lip, and the boy angles his head so he can press himself closer to her, nipping at her bottom lip; Kamui whimpers softly, the noise sending a hot trickle of desire down his spine. Leo's mind is flooded with the dizzying scent of ancient magic and the intoxicating taste of crisp apples, and he effectively forgets they need air until Kamui pries herself away from him, panting heavily past her slowly bruising lips. 

Leo doesn't mourn the sudden loss of heat for long, his lips quickly finding the curve of her neck to plant open mouthed kisses along. He flips them so her back is pressed against the door, and when his teeth knead the smooth skin above her collarbone, she arches her back and her fingers tighten in his hair. 

" _Leo_ ," she gasps, ghosting fingers across the hand that rests on her hip. "Wait... we shouldn't— mmm-!" 

Her protestations are drowned out by a sinful moan as his teeth find her earlobe, and the guttural sound turns into a low growl as she drags his mouth back to hers, pushing her tongue past his lips and voraciously exploring his mouth in a way that makes his head spin. One of his hands runs up and down the length of her torso, the other plays with the hem of her tunic and teases at the bare skin underneath. She makes him dizzy and breathless, and he leans heavily against her, their bodies impossibly close. When Leo is forced to pull back momentarily for air, he keeps his forehead to hers and their faces near. 

"I don't care for any of that," he breathes, staring at her past half lidded eyes. Her pupils are as dilated as his own doubtlessly are, and the heady haze of lust clouds her crimson eyes. The sight doesn't slow his racing heart, doesn't alleviate the all-consuming ache he feels deep in his abdomen. "What I feel for you is painfully real. It always has been. You are my Atlanta, Kamui, and I want nothing more than to be your Melanion," he tells her, breathily and half distracted by the flutter of her long eyelashes as she tries to blink her head clear. "I didn't throw you golden apples to be ignored. And now that I have you," he mutters, pressing his lips against the side of her jaw, "I don't plan on letting you go." 

Her fingers slide from his hair to the side of his face, cupping his cheek and tilting his head so she can imprint a similar kiss along the curve of his jaw. 

"I... I don't think I'd want to go," she murmurs against his cheek, her breath all tingles and heat and pleasurable vibrations through his skin. Lifting herself up on her toes, she gently grazes her lips over the skin below his ear. "Thinking of you as a brother even after we found out the truth; I was just scared, just running away. I'm more Atlanta than I'd thought," she chuckles, hot breath over the shell of his ear making him shudder. "I've been running away for far too long." 

Leo wraps his arms around her hips, lifting her up off the ground so that _he_ can look up at _her_ , reverent, awed, and so irrevocably enamored. She wobbles uncertainly for a moment, an exhilarated giggle tumbling past her lips as she wraps her legs around his waist, steadying herself with hands around the base of his neck. "Let me say it now; let me swear it to all the gods above, Kamui. _I love you_ ," he whispers up to her, and the words feel like a prayer falling from his lips, like a breath of fresh air after an eternity locked in decaying castle. He mutters it again and again, savoring the phrase in his mouth for all it's worth, only stopping when she slides her hands to his cheeks and pulls his mouth to hers, stealing his breath and his words with a deft flick of her tongue. 

"I love you, too," she gasps into the barely-there space between their lips. "Oh, I would that my love is an ocean, so that I could never measure the depth of it — not without dragging you under with me." 

"I would never want to resurface if it was," he confesses, warm breath fanning over warm cheeks. "You could drown me, and I would die with only love for you on my lips." 

She gasps softly, eyelids fluttering rapidly as a glassy wetness glazes her eyes, incongruous to the dazzling grin on her lips. Careful fingers brush against the swell of his cheek, tracing lines up the side of his face until she reaches his forehead, piously pushes blond bangs away from his skin. The kiss Kamui lays there stretches through eternities — slow-burning, long-lingering, and sweet. When she finally pulls back, eyes bleary with content and bright with adoration, Leo forgets, for a moment, the simple act of breathing. She's beautiful all the time, more resplendent every day, but he can't describe the way she is now, past: he feels breathless just looking at her, and his heart, his lungs — everything — stops just for Kamui, like she is the goddess and he is time, both existing eternally but only one loyally subject to the divinity of the other. He has never understood what it meant to want to do _anything_ for someone until now, with her crimson eyes on only him and that perfect smile on her lips. 

"There's no one I'd rather have than you," she tells him sincerely. 

"Good," he whispers back, and she grins, brings her other hand to his face and kisses him again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was so dumb and cheesy but haPPY NO-SHAME NOVEMBER I REGRET NOTHING
> 
> And seriously, thank you guys so much for sticking with me this whole time. It's been one hell of a journey, haha, and everything I've learned and all the support and new friends I was on the recieving end of — I feel like they've helped me grow so much as an author. I hope you guys enjoyed this silly, fluffy thing as much as I did, and really, I could never thank each and every one of you — readers, commenters, people who left kudos, and all the wonderful people I've met through this — enough. I absolutely _adore_ you guys, and thank you, one last time. Just in case you couldn't tell how grateful I am that you all exist~ ^u^
> 
> <3
> 
> (PS: leave me a comment and make me cry over hOW MUCH I'LL MISS THIS STORY AND ALL YOU GUYS. I _dare_ you.)


	17. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess what I found buried in my scrap documents.

Elise jumps in surprise at the sound of a slamming door echoing down the hall, grabbing onto Camilla's arm in shock. The abrupt noise is quickly succeeded by the sound of something heavy crashing against the wood, and Elise's eyes widen. 

"What was that?!" she exclaims, turning to Camilla fearfully. "It sounds like it came from Kamui's room! Do you think everything's okay?" 

Camilla pries her fingers out from Elise's, placatingly smooths down the fabric of her sleeves. 

"It was nothing, Little Sister. I'm sure Kamui's just fine," she reassures the girl, patting her once atop the head. A small frown still pulls at the younger girl's lips. 

"Are we sure? Shouldn't we check up on her to make sure?" 

"Oh no, I'm sure that won't be necessary at all. After all, your Big Brother Leo's just down the hall from her, right?" 

Elise chews on her lip for a moment, roseate eyes downcast, before she nods resolutely, tilts her head back up to meet her older sister's gaze. 

"You're right, Big Sister Camilla; I'm sure if it's Kamui and Big Brother Leo, they'll be alright!" she agrees, smiling pleasantly. A small smile of her own forms on Camilla's lips, both from Elise's contagious enthusiasm and something else entirely. 

"I'm sure they'll be much better than _alright_ ," she giggles coyly, to which Elise quizzically tilts her head to the side. All Camilla does is smile wider at the young blonde, pressing a silent finger against her lips as they wordlessly continue their way down the hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The (real) end. You're welcome.


End file.
